When Nicola Ranson learns that the "peaceful" spiritual community she once called home is responsible for more than 750 poisonings, her world shatters. The revelation forces her to retrace her path from an austere Canadian convent school to India, and finally to the Rajneesh movement's secluded Oregon commune-where idealism curdled into coercion, conspiracy, and FBI surveillance.Now a psychotherapist, Ranson exposes the psychological mechanics of indoctrination and the human cost of misplaced devotion. In this gripping memoir, she reveals how a utopian dream of love and liberation spiraled into attempted murder and the largest domestic bioterrorism attack in U.S. history-and how one woman reclaimed her voice on the other side. Nicola Ranson is a writer and psychotherapist who has worked with survivors from multiple cults. In 2025, she presented on cult recovery at the International Cultic Studies Association in Montréal, Canada. Ranson co-wrote and co-produced the documentary, "Tattooed Trucks of Nepal - Horn Please!" which won Best Script at the Sicily Art Film Festival. Excerpts from her memoir have been published in the anthology Shaking the Tree: Brazen. Short. Memoir, Volumes 3 and 4. She was adjunct faculty at National University for seventeen years and provided services for Survivors of Torture, International, San Diego. Born in the UK, Ranson grew up in Canada and now lives in California with her husband, film-maker Ron Ranson.