“What would happen if Harry met Sally in the age of Tinder and Snapchat? . . . A field guide to Millennial dating in New York City.” ( New York Daily News ) When New York–based graphic designers and long-time friends Timothy Goodman and Jessica Walsh found themselves single at the same time, they decided to try an experiment. The old adage says that it takes forty days to change a habit―could the same be said for love? So they agreed to date each other for forty days, record their experiences in questionnaires, photographs, videos, texts, and artworks, and post the material on a website they would create for this purpose. What began as a small experiment between two friends became an Internet sensation, drawing five million unique (and obsessed) visitors from around the globe to their site and their story. 40 Days of Dating: An Experiment is a beautifully designed, expanded look at the experiment and the results, including a great deal of material that never made it onto the site, such as who they were as friends and individuals before the forty days and who they have become since. 40 Days of Dating incorporates a unique page design. The authors chose to recreate the experience of their original blog by designing those pages in a landscape format without page breaks. Wrapping the images and text from page to page mimics the continuous scrolling of a computer screen and is not a mistake in printing. Jessica Walsh is a designer, art director, and partner in the New York–based design firm Sagmeister and Walsh. Timothy Goodman is a designer, illustrator, and art director based in New York City; he runs his own studio. Walsh and Goodman have each won awards for their work from the Type Directors Club, Art Directors Club, SPD, Print, and Graphis. 40 Days of Dating By Timothy Goodman, Jessica Walsh, Andrea Danese Abrams Books Copyright © 2014 Timothy Goodman and Jessica Walsh All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-4197-1384-2 Contents Preface, When We Were Young, How They Met, The Rules, It Takes 40 Days to Change a Bad Habit, What Happened Next, Essays on Love and Dating/Relationships/Heartache, Dating Map, CHAPTER 1 When We Were Young Relationship patterns are a little like fingerprints — we all have them and each is utterly unique. Like it or not, we're all shaped in one way or another by our families, our childhoods, our upbringing. Here's a snapshot of where we came from, who we were long before we met, and how we became friends over the years. It may provide some insight into our relationship struggles. OUR PAST Jessica Walsh What were you like as a child? I was a curious and inquisitive child with an active imagination. Among close family and friends I was confident, outspoken, and boisterous. My mom called me "Monkey," as I was always climbing and jumping on things, exploring the outdoors, looking for my next adventure. At home I was assertive and confident, but around new people I was timid and reserved. Being very shy made it difficult to make new friends, and I often felt like an outsider in school. I was also the black sheep in my family: the artistic, sensitive, intuitive child in a family of rational-minded left-brained thinkers. What memories do you have of your parents? When my mother was pregnant with me, my parents quit their jobs and started a software company together. I grew up with their business. I watched throughout my childhood as their hard work and perseverance paid off. My parents taught us to focus on what we want and go after it. They told us to never settle and never give up. I think this approach has affected my outlook in many areas of life, including dating. Who were your heroes or role models when you were a child? I always saw my parents as perfect role models whom I should aspire to. They had a successful marriage and a successful business. They had great friends and family and were always great parents to us. But while I admired them, I was also intimidated by them. I sometimes worried if I'd ever live up to their success. I spent a lot of time trying to please and impress them when I was younger. Were your parents strict? At times when I was younger I felt frustrated by how involved my parents were. I was jealous of my friends who had no after-school commitments or had laid-back parents who set no curfews. Looking back, I feel lucky I had parents who cared so much. They loved us, looked out for us, and truly wanted the best for us. I think in many ways they just wanted us to have all the experiences and opportunities they couldn't afford growing up. What did you want to be when you grew up? When I was very young it was clear my passion was in art. I loved to draw and paint, but I never imagined I could make a career out of it. I always assumed it would be a hobby, and I'd follow in my parents' footsteps and go into business or sales. When I was eleven years old, I became obsessed with computers and taught myself how to code we