Named one of the twenty best young American novelists by Britain's Granta magazine, the author offers a comic novel about a wistful, restless young black woman who becomes involved in her sister's beauty pageant. 20,000 first printing. Tour. IP. At the beginning of this madcap novel from David Haynes, named one of America's Best Young Novelists by Granta in 1996, Deneen Wilkerson is on vacation with her boyfriend, Calvin. While driving to Door County, Wis., Calvin announces that he thinks they ought to break up. Too stunned to protest, Deneen says nothing, and they continue on what was supposed to have been a romantic week away. Driving back to Minnesota, Deneen asks Calvin to drop her off at the airport, where she buys a ticket home to her mother in St. Louis. Once home she settles into a routine of watching TV and eating junk food. When her stepsister Ciara enters the All American Dream Dolls beauty pageant, Deneen is drawn from her basement lair to help Ciara and her tutor, a fey hairdresser named Hawkins. The novel is told in a first person voice that's a combination of Terry McMillan (with less profanity) and Groucho Marx. Deneen Wilkerson is a talented, no-nonsense, full-figured African American advertising executive who has recently been dumped by her boyfriend at the beginning of a romantic vacation. Retreating to the basement of her mother's home, she reevaluates her life with the help of Geraldo, Oprah, and a steady supply of junk food. She also tries to bond with her 12-year-old stepsister, a budding beauty queen and bulimic borderline psychotic. Deneen never loses her humor, even when sabotaging her stepsister's chances of becoming Miss All American Dream Doll or rating the sexual prowess of the men she knows. Surrounded by people who refuse to give up on life, she learns not to give up on herself. Haynes's third novel for adults (following Live at Five, LJ 4/1/96) is a wildly funny, realistic look at beauty pageants, sibling rivalry, self-esteem, and growing up. Highly recommended. [Haynes was named one of America's Best Young Novelists by Granta in 1996.?Ed.]?Ellen Flexman, Indianapolis-Marion Cty. P.L., Ind. -?Ellen Flexman, Indianapolis-Marion Cty. P.L., Ind. Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. Haynes (Live at Five, 1996, etc.) unleashes his satiric verve on preteen beauty pageants and midlife crises in this tale of an adwoman who returns to the nest. Thirtysomething Deneen Wilkerson is a ``Rubenesque'' resident of Minneapolis working on a non-euphemistic ad campaign for douche spray when she goes on an ill-fated romantic vacation. As she and her boyfriend, Calvin, speed down I-94 toward a rural inn, the unhappy Calvin chooses the occasion to tell her he's gay. Deneen is so unsettled by the breakup of her only serious post-college relationship that she decides to go home to St. Louis and get some long-overdue nurturing from Mom, now widowed for a second time. But Deneen hasn't counted on her bratty 12-year-old half-sister Ciara, who's busy planning a campaign to carry her all the way to the top of the ``All American Dream Dolls'' pageant under the guidance of her eccentric, driven manager Hawkins DeAngeles. Deneen's first reaction to the vain and unsympathetic Ciara is to spend a week in hibernation with Wheat Thins, pound cake, and talk shows, which teach her that Ciara displays all of the ``ten warning signs of toxic people.'' Subsequently, Deneen's relationship with Ciara descends through several levels of sisterly manipulation and attempted sabotage while Ciara, meantime, is beset by cutthroat competition, talentless Whitney Houston imitators, and the impending end of preteen adorableness. But though the sisters never quite learn to hit it off, Deneen's presence proves beneficial for everyone as she strikes up a surprisingly healthy relationship with a would-be pageant impresario named Mark and persuades her mother to take more responsibility for Ciara's future. Haynes's strokes are broad, but he delivers a frequently hilarious novel, with consistently on-target punch lines and an eye for real people. (Author tour) -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. ...wickedly funny... a marvelous and easy-to-read book that won't disappoint. -- Quarterly Black Review, Glenn R. Townes David Haynes is currently a teacher-in-residence at the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards in Washington, D.C.