The world's famous Folies Bergere production show ran for forty five years. It was one of the longest running shows in US history. Phil Ronzone worked backstage for twenty nine of those years. The book takes you backstage before, during and after the show. These are the true stories of its stage crew. Perfect performance? Not when it's a production show! What could possibly go wrong? This book could bring a smile to Hunter S. Thompson's face. Backstage Blackout The Diary of a Stage Tyrant By Philip Ronzone AuthorHouse Copyright © 2017 Philip Ronzone All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-5462-0236-3 Contents Introduction, vii, Chapter 1: Where Did This Book Come From?, 1, Chapter 2: The Real Deal, 7, Chapter 3: Assault On The Zoo, 12, Chapter 4: Kids — Play Nice!, 18, Chapter 5: So You Want To Party?, 29, Chapter 6: Water World, 34, Chapter 7: Animal House, 39, Chapter 8: Broken Bones And Blood, 45, Chapter 9: Hey, That Could Have Been A Disaster, 88, Chapter 10: Rob's Roach Circus And Phantom Penis Exhibition, 106, Chapter 11: Now You See Him, Now You Don't, 110, Chapter 12: That's No Bull, That's A Pinata, 113, Chapter 13: A Rough Night In Jail, 117, Chapter 14: It's God — No, It's The Drunken Cue Caller, 122, Chapter 15: And The Lucky Winner Is ..., 127, Chapter 16: Rock-A-Bye-Baby, 131, Chapter 17: Accused Of Murder, 135, Chapter 18: Stranded, 140, Chapter 19: The Shrinking Door, 144, Chapter 20: Caution: This Medication May Make You Drowsy. Do Not Mix With Alcohol Or Operate Heavy Equipment, 146, Chapter 21: Race For The Coke, 149, Chapter 22: Feeding Frenzy, 157, Chapter 23: The Party, 162, Chapter 24: Big Shots, 170, Chapter 25: Curtain Call, 177, Chapter 26: It's Who You Know, 181, Chapter 27: That's One Butt-Ugly Picture, 186, Chapter 28: My African Prince, 190, Chapter 29: Just Say "No", 195, Chapter 30: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, 201, Prologue, 219, CHAPTER 1 WHERE DID THIS BOOK COME FROM? Every once in a while I like to get a sheet of paper, a couple of pencils, and just write down whatever pops into my head. I haven't done this for quite a while, so let's see what happens. What immediately comes to mind is that this is a terrible time to do this. It's during a part of the show in which I could easily miss a very important cue. No one likes to miss any stage cue. Funny things happen when people miss cues. For instance, many times we'll be training new people, so if someone who should know better misses a cue, he just blames it on the new guy. It's a beautiful thing; however, once in a great while, the new guy has been paying attention and right when you're talking to the big boss, Mr. "I'm a New Guy Who Happens to Be Paying Attention" will say, "Hey, I didn't make any mistake; it was that guy." And when he points at me, well, that just sucks. Okay, I did it, can't blame a guy for trying. Most of the time though, the new ones will say, "Sorry," or, "I thought I was doing the right thing," and some of the less bright ones are good for a lot of mileage. Do we feel bad? Of course not; we just wish we had been as smart as Mr. Paying Attention New Guy when the other guys had done it to us. My old boss was a special piece of work. When I first met him he told me I was too pretty to be a stage carpenter or prop guy, so the next night I was instructed to start on "the rail." All those bastard's who just let me be sacrificed that night were burned into my mind forever, and one by one I hunted them down and got even. Of course at the time I thought I had just hit the lottery. Dion, the boss, seemed like a cool cat, which he was — until you missed a cue. Missing a cue or performing the wrong cue on Dion's crew was an event that you never forgot. After the mistake, Dion would let everyone know that you would answer to a new name, at least for a while. Let me see if I can remember some of my old stage names. My favorite: "Shit for Brains". First runner up: "Cock-Sucking Idiot". Let's not forget "Dumb Cock-Sucker." Some guys, myself included, were too dumb, too thick-skinned, or just too loaded to take it personally. Others were not so fortunate. The trick was to shut up, make no excuses ... oh — and answer to your new name. There were the guys, however, who didn't know the trick. These poor bastard's would make the first mistake; then, either during their verbal reaming or shortly afterwards, would make a second or third mistake and do it all in a matter of minutes. You wouldn't think that Dion could reach new levels of nicknames for people, but that was the thing about Dion. He was always full of surprises. Some men walked out, ruined; many vowed never to come back. Some were told politely that they shouldn't count on coming back; others were told not so politely. Ah, but those who made it were a special breed. If you could make it here, you could make it anywhere. The odd thing is, Dion was a really good friend and there isn't a day that goes b