Winner of the 2013 Books for a Better Life Acorda Wellness Award and the 2014 Silver Nautilus Book Award Resilience is the ability to face and handle life’s challenges, whether everyday disappointments or extraordinary disasters. While resilience is innate in the brain, over time we learn unhelpful patterns, which then become fixed in our neural circuitry. But science is now revealing that what previously seemed hardwired can be rewired, and Bouncing Back shows us how. With powerful, time-tested exercises, Linda Graham guides us in rebuilding our core well-being and disaster-proofing our brains. “Creative in its groundbreaking integration of ancient contemplative wisdom, relational psychology, and modern neuroscience — and supremely useful in its compassionate focus on what will help you here and now.” — from the foreword by Rick Hanson, PhD “Linda Graham offers a beautiful and wise understanding of neuroscience combined with immensely practical tools for healthy living and genuine well-being.” — Jack Kornfield, PhD , author of A Path with Heart “Written with great lucidity and compassion, this book helps us cultivate a heart that is ready for anything.” — Tara Brach, PhD , author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge “This intelligent and very readable book is more than informative; it is a heartfelt conversation with a wise and compassionate friend — and we can all use more of those.” — Louis Cozolino, PhD , author of The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy “Linda Graham has written the ultimate handbook for dealing with life’s inevitable bumps, challenges, and, yes, even traumas. It is both practical and inspiring.” — Christine Carter, PhD , author of Raising Happiness “ Bouncing Back is the perfect guidebook not only to get through hard times but to develop the capacity for thriving in their midst.” — James Baraz , coauthor of Awakening Joy “This book will deepen your self-understanding as it moves your heart.” — Rick Foster , coauthor of How We Choose to Be Happy “ Bouncing Back offers the rigor of science, the beauty of art, and the wisdom of deep reflection and contemplation....In this illuminating work, Linda Graham has given us a treasure.” — Shauna L. Shapiro, PhD , coauthor of The Art and Science of Mindfulness “I’ve never read a book so packed with information and wisdom and so engagingly, imaginatively, and charmingly written.” — Sylvia Boorstein, PhD , author of It’s Easier Than You Think Linda Graham, MFT , is a marriage and family therapist, mindfulness teacher, and expert on the neuroscience of human relationships who trains other clinicians in applying neuroscience in their work. Bouncing Back Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being By Linda Graham New World Library Copyright © 2013 Linda Graham All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-60868-129-7 Contents List of Exercises, Foreword by Rick Hanson, PhD, INTRODUCTION What Resilience Is and How We Rewire Our Brains to Recover It, PART ONE How the Brain Develops Resilience — or Doesn't, CHAPTER ONE How the Brain's Strategies of Resilience Become Wired In, CHAPTER TWO How the Wiring In of Resilience Can Go Awry, PART TWO Harnessing the Brain's Neuroplasticity to Recover Your Resilience, CHAPTER THREE Using Mindfulness to Foster Self-Awareness and Flexible Responses, CHAPTER FOUR Using Empathy to Create Connections and Self-Acceptance, CHAPTER FIVE Five Additional Practices That Accelerate Brain Change, CHAPTER SIX Self-Directed Neuroplasticity, PART THREE Recovering Resilience through Resonant Relationships, CHAPTER SEVEN How Bonding and Belonging Nourish Resilience, CHAPTER EIGHT Creating Inner Security and Confidence, CHAPTER NINE Developing Relational Intelligence, PART FOUR Keep Calm and Carry On: Recovering Resilience through Resources of the Body, CHAPTER TEN Losing and Recovering Our Equilibrium, CHAPTER ELEVEN Recovering Our Balance through the Body, CHAPTER TWELVE Developing Somatic Intelligence, PART FIVE Recovering Resilience through Emotional Well-Being, CHAPTER THIRTEEN How Neuroscience Is Revolutionizing Our Thinking about Feelings, CHAPTER FOURTEEN How Positive Emotions Build Resilience, CHAPTER FIFTEEN Developing Emotional Intelligence, PART SIX Shift Happens: Recovering Resilience through Reflection and Response Flexibility, CHAPTER SIXTEEN Using Reflection to Identify Options, CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Shifting Gears: Modifying Our Patterns of Response, CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Discerning Wise Choices and Responding Flexibly, PART SEVEN Recovering Resilience through Simply Being, CHAPTER NINETEEN Resting in the Wisdom of Being, PART EIGHT Launching into a More Resilient Life, CHAPTER TWENTY Moving Resilience beyond the Personal Self, Acknowledgments, Endnotes, Index, About the Author, CHAPTER 1 How the Brain's Strategies of Resilience Become Wired In What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lie