City of One is a poignant and beautifully written memoir of childhood loss and its enduring meaning. Francine Cournos was three years old when her father died, and by the time she was eleven, her mother was dead of breast cancer. "I had been hurled over a cliff," she writes. "The irreversibility of what had happened crashed down on me; a nauseating wave of fear and a flood of tears followed. I didn't know who I was without my mother. What would fill the vast space left by the disappearance of this all-consuming relationship? How would I spend my time? What would I become?" In answering these questions, Dr. Cournos offers a sharply perceptive portrait of an injured child's inner life, and the moving-even exhilarating-story of the ways in which, after much struggle and with considerable help from others, that injured child living in a foster home grew to become a happy and successful adult. At once illuminating and heart stopping, City of One is an inspiring account of triumph over childhood adversity. "Eloquent and moving."-New York Times Book Review "Inspiring, insightful, and thoroughly engaging, offering hope and awareness to all who have experienced pivotal losses."-Kirkus Reviews "City of One is extraordinarily moving. It is handled with a remarkable honesty and sensitivity. This is redemptive work because it leaves us with a sense of admiration for the courage of the human spirit."-Jonathan Kozol, Author of Amazing Grace "From tragic to inspirational, City of One is an impressive lesson in one woman's ability to endure." "Eloquent and moving". -- The New York Times Book Review By the time she was eleven years old, Francine Cournos was robbed of her parents by a pair of tragic deaths. Placed in foster care by relatives too disinterested to bother with her, she drew strength from the indelible example of her mother's courage in the face of breast cancer. Yet the orphaned child within her would play an equally profound role in shaping the exceptional woman she was to become. In this unforgettable memoir, Francine Cournos tells the story of her transformation from the little girl whom nobody wanted into a successful, happy adult. In vivid, poignant detail, she describes the childhood that nearly destroyed her, and the strength of will that led to her decision to become a doctor against all odds. Set against the backdrop of 1950s New York City, she weaves the devastating events of her youth with her mature experiences as a psychiatrist, wife, and mother. She shares her lifelong search for identity, love, and the medical answers that would demystify the illness that claimed her mother's life and force her to confront her early feelings of betrayal and abandonment. How Cournos came to terms with those feelings, to triumph over despair, is a story of awe-inspiring perseverance. City of One is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and of one woman's determination -- in the face of inconceivable loss -- to survive and to thrive. Francine Cournos, M.D., is a professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University and Deputy Director of New York State Psychiatric Institute where she teaches and conducts research. She has published extensively in the scientific literature. She lives in New York City. City of One A Memoir By Francine Cournos Authors Choice Press Copyright © 2006 Francine Cournos All right reserved. ISBN: 9780595414987 Chapter One Disappearances (1948-1953) I stared down her housedress as she bent over to bathe me.One breast moved with the motion of her scrubbing me.Where the other would have been, there was just a scar.Something frightening had happened; I just didn't knowwhat. I could see the evidence?the bandages covering onepart of her body and then another, the swollen arm?and Ifurtively examined the padded bras in her drawer. But Iremained mystified.     As a child, I was preoccupied with things that disappeared,but my mother's breast was what I noticed most, its absence aninescapable reminder of what was no longer. This was anessential mystery, one I could not solve, and whose contemplationled only to a fear of what might disappear next.     My mother and I never talked about her missing breast. Idon't know if I was scared to ask her, or if I sensed that talkingdidn't suit her and I was trying not to upset her. Once ina while, I got up the courage to ask about something. "Why isyour arm all swollen up?" Mom said it was because of her operation,but I really didn't understand what a missing breast hadto do with a swollen arm. Mom sort of joked about how shelooked with two arms that didn't match. I loved both herarms, the fat one and the skinny one, but I couldn't helpthinking that something had gone terribly wrong.     We didn't talk about my father, either. He had vanishedwith barely a trace when I was three. No picture of him existedin our house. No member of his family was present in ourlives. For the brief time he was sick, I stayed with my AuntMilly