Cut the Crap — and Discover What Really Matters Over the course of his career helping people let go of things they no longer need, Brooks Palmer has been struck by the many ways that clutter affects relationships. In these pages, he shows how we use clutter to protect ourselves, control others, and cling to the past, and how it keeps us from experiencing the joy of connection. With insight-prompting questions, exercises, client examples, and even whimsical line drawings, Palmer will take you from overwhelmed to empowered. His gentle guidance will help you to not only clear clutter from your home but also enjoy deeper, more authentic, and clutter-free relationships of all kinds. “Brooks Palmer is an expert at helping people discover the freedom that comes from de-cluttering their lives. In the process, he helps them discover who they are and the life they should really be living. Read this book...it may just change your life!” — Matthew Kelly , New York Times bestselling author of Off Balance and The Rhythm of Life “Brooks Palmer wisely reveals that clutter is a state of consciousness, one that we can transform into a profound awareness of what lies beneath the fortress built of stuff, be it physical, psychological, or even spiritual. Fortunate are those who apply his compassionate methods for growing in self-love, self-respect, and self-trust.” — Michael Bernard Beckwith , author of Spiritual Liberation “Filled with interesting stories and useful guidance about replacing physical and emotional baggage with freedom and joyful relationships.” — Harville Hendrix, PhD , author of Getting the Love You Want “Brooks Palmer provides inspiring examples, humor, and encouragement to help readers let go of clutter, along with small steps that can help people create a new and joyful life. If you’re looking for ways to let go of clutter, then this book is for you.” — Tammy Strobel , author of You Can Buy Happiness (and It’s Cheap) and RowdyKittens.com “Clutter is so much more than the physical objects we cling to. Fortunately, Brooks Palmer is so much more than a clutter buster. The defenses, anger, and general dopiness we use to protect our tender selves are no match for his gentleness, humor, and insight....I’m beginning to think that Brooks might be able to clutter bust us all the way to world peace.” — Colleen Wainwright , writer, speaker, and creator of Communicatrix.com Brook Palmer uses compassion, awareness, and humor to help clients get rid of clutter. He has been featured in national and local media and offers clutter-busting workshops. Also a stand-up comedian and member of the Screen Actors’ Guild, he lives in Chicago and Los Angeles. Clutter Busting Your Life Clearing Physical and Emotional Clutter to Reconnect with Yourself and Others By Brooks Palmer New World Library Copyright © 2012 Brooks Palmer All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-60868-079-5 Contents Introduction, Chapter One: The Clutter of False Armor, Chapter Two: Clutter Busting 101, Chapter Three: Clutter as a Defense, Chapter Four: The Urge to Change Others, Chapter Five: How to Quiet the Clutter Storms, Chapter Six: Clutter Busting Old Relationships, Chapter Seven: When a Relationship Becomes Clutter, Chapter Eight: Clutter Busting Together, Summary of Principles, Acknowledgments, About the Author, CHAPTER 1 THE CLUTTER OF FALSE ARMOR I came to my client's front door and was greeted by a small piece of paper covering the glass. The words on it read, "Occupants are home and are armed." The word armed had been heavily underlined with a pen. I thought, "It's the antiwelcome mat. I think he wants to be left alone." It's a good thing I don't take these things personally. I rang the buzzer. From behind the door I heard a defensive, "Who is it?" I said, "It's Brooks, the clutter-busting guy." I heard the clicks of four door locks opening. The door cracked opened slightly, and a man's face peered out. I nodded and said hi, and he opened the door the rest of the way. The man was in his late fifties and dressed in black and had a tough-guy, don't-mess-with-me air. He reminded me of Charles Bronson in Death Wish. I shook his hand, and for a moment I could see fear and sadness in his eyes beneath his rough veneer. I remember thinking that it felt as if his inner core was filled with tears. My client invited me in. It was difficult to get past the stacks of paper and boxes obscuring the entrance. The space was dark. Some light from a dim bulb at the end of the hallway revealed the pathways he had carved for himself out of the clutter. They were mazes. The musty smell of mold in the air made it difficult to breathe. He boasted that I was only the third person he had let into his house in the past twelve years. Then he gave me a tour of the house. I couldn't see the extent of the clutter on each floor because the walls of clutter were a couple of feet taller than me. Bungee cords held them