Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he’s been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things–like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like • The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires • The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects • Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe • The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling “Hey! I want some crack,” you can’t even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He’s going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty “–chino” coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed. “Dave Barry is one funny human.” – San Francisco Examiner “ONE OF BARRY’S BEST COLLECTIONS, this book should delight his devoted readers and will surely make the uninitiated sit up and take notice.” –The Associated Press “Reading Barry with another person in the room invariably elicits one of two responses: ‘What’s so funny’ or ‘For God’s sake, shut up’.” – The New York Times Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he's been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things-like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like - The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires - The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects - Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe - The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling "Hey! I want some crack," you can't even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He's going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty "-chino" coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed. From 1983 to 2004, Dave Barry wrote a weekly humor column for The Miami Herald , which in 1988 won a Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. He is the author of more than thirty books, including such bestsellers as the nonfiction Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer Is Much Faster) , You Can Date Boys When You're Forty , and I'll Mature When I'm Dead ; the novels Big Trouble , Tricky Business , and Insane City ; the very successful YA Peter Pan novels (with Ridley Pearson); and his Christmas story The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog . Two of his books— Big Trouble and Dave Barry's Guide to Guys —have been turned into movies. For a while, his life was even a television series, Dave's World , but then it was canceled. The series. Not the life. For many years, Dave was also a guitarist with the late, infamous, and strangely unlamented band the Rock Bottom Remainders. Politically Correct So there I was, sitting under the hot lights, when suddenly Vicki Lawrence leaped to her feet and started yelling at me about the death penalty. This happened in Los Angeles, on the TV show Politically Incorrect. People yell a lot on that show. One time I was on there with Micky Dolenz; he yelled at me, too. Back when I used to watch The Monkees on TV, I never dreamed that one day, one of them would be yelling at me personally regarding current events. This is a great nation. Guests are encouraged to express strong views on Politically Incorrect, because it makes for better entertainment. The host, Bill Maher, could name any topic at all—say, monetary reform in the 17th- century Netherlands—and we guests would immediately be at each other’s throats over it, even if we were not totally certain what “Netherlands” are. I was on Politically Incorrect because I was on a book tour. You go on whatever show they tell you to go on, in hopes that the host will at some point hold your book up to the camera, causing consumers all over America to rush to bookstores to purchase it. You will basically do anything to get your book on TV. For example, a few days earlier, I let a total stranger commit a major act of gel on my hair. This was on The Today Show, in New York. I was sitting in the makeup room, drinking coffee, trying to wake up, and the makeup person, after studying my head, called the hair person over, pointed at my hair, and said: “See? This is exactly what I was talking about.” Then they bot