“A detailed, eye-opening account of the real sexual underground in America . . . a thorough and serious study.”— Playboy From Different Loving: In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission, one first has to consider the question ‘What is normal?‘ If the unique function of sex is reproductive—and the only reason men and women should engage in sex is for the purpose of creating a new life—then only heterosexual intercourse is normal. By this standard, many common acts, even contraception, must be considered aberrant. Reproductive relevance was the Victorian standard of normalcy, and even today many of the laws in the United States still abide by that model. But people have always pursued sex for both reproduction and for pleasure and well-being. We start from the premise that sex for pleasure is a normal human drive and is acceptable when it brings pleasure to both partners. From this perspective, D&S is simply a ‘different‘ kind of loving. We hope to add to the greater body of knowledge about what people really  do behind closed doors with the people they most love and trust. Perhaps Different Loving  will help open the door for further research into the mystery, beauty, and complexity of human life and its diverse expressions. Praise for Different Loving “The definitive guide to the sexual styles of those who walk on the wild side.” — Kirkus Reviews “As a window on largely unexplored territory, Different Loving is a breakthrough in the dialogue on human sexuality, and a significant work of popular sociology.” — South Bend Tribune “A comprehensive primer on loving with leather and romance by riding crop.” —Michael Musto, New York Daily News “A detailed, eye-opening account of the real sexual underground in America . . . a thorough and serious study.” — Playboy “The definitive guide to the sexual styles of those who walk on the wild side.” — Kirkus Reviews “As a window on largely unexplored territory,  Different Loving  is a breakthrough in the dialogue on human sexuality, and a significant work of popular sociology.” — South Bend Tribune “A comprehensive primer on loving with leather and romance by riding crop.” —Michael Musto, New York  Daily News A breakthrough in sexual literature, this work is a complete, comprehensive user-friendly guide to and tour through the world of alternative sexual lifestyles. While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit. William D. Brame , husband of Gloria Brame, is a professional archaeologist, novelist, and freelance writer. Brame is the author of Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission.  Gloria Brame  is a bestselling author and internationally renowned sex therapist well known for her research into eliminating stigmas from BDSM and fetish sex. She received her MA in English literature from Columbia University and a PhD in human sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Brame became a certified sexologist from the American College of Sexologists in 2002. She is the author of several breakthrough books on sexual relationships, such as  Different Loving ,  Different Loving Too , and  The Truth About Sex: A Sex Primer for the 21st Century . Jon Jacobs  is a freelance writer and editor with a background in photojournalism. Jacobs is the author of  Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. One     INTRODUCTION   In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission (D&S), one first has to consider the question, “What is normal?” If the unique function of sex is reproductive—and the only reason men and women should engage in sex is for the purpose of creating new life—then only heterosexual intercourse is normal. Masturbation, oral sex, and even contraception must be considered aberrant. Reproductive relevance was the Victorian standard of normalcy, and even today many of the laws defining criminal sexual behaviors in the United States still abide by that model. In reality, however, people have always pursued sex for reproduction as well as for pleasure and well-being.   The term normal is meaningless in terms of sexuality. It is commonly used as the opposite of abnormal and therefore as a euphemism for “good” versus “bad.” The consensus among sex therapists is that anything that occurs between consenting adults that harms no one is acceptable. —HOWARD AND MARTHA LEWIS   We start from the premise that sex for pleasure is a normal human drive and is acceptable when it brings pleasure to both partners. From this perspective, D&S is simply a “different” kind of loving.   This book is biased toward heterosexuals quite simply because there are more heterosexuals than homosexuals in the general population as well as in the world of D&S. Gays and