In the ranks of NCAA college basketball, Duke University is like something scraped off the bottom of a shoe. It's like a nasty virus you catch from a door handle at a public toilet. No team in sports is as uniquely hated as those smug, entitled, floor-slapping, fist-pumping, insufferable Blue Devils. The loathing has almost reached the level of a religion. Christian Laettner is a punk. Amen. The Cameron Crazies are obnoxious. The Plumlees are worthless times three. Coach K is a jerk. Kumbaya. The team is dogged by an intense hatred that no other team can match―and for good reason. Millions of hoops fans and March Madness aficionados around the world are not imagining things. Duke really is evil, and within the pages of Duke Sucks , Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell show readers exactly why Duke deserves to be so detested. They bruise and batter the Blue Devils with fact after fact, story after story, statistic after statistic. They build an airtight case that could stand up in a court of law. So sit back in your "I Hate Duke" t-shirt, and in true Duke fashion, force someone poorer than you to do your work as you crack open the ultimate guide to Duke suckitude. “It's daylight savings time, which means it's also Duke-hating time.” ― The Denver Post Reed Tucker is a staff features writer at the New York Post . He lives in Brooklyn, New York. He is co-author of Duke Sucks: A Completely Evenhanded, Unbiased Investigation into the Most Evil Team on Planet Earth . Andy Bagwell is a former member of Selected Hilarity, one of the top college comedy acts in the nation. He lives in Cary, North Carolina. With Reed Tucker he is the co-author of Duke Sucks , and the two host the “Tar Heel Bred, Tar Heel Dead” podcast, an obsessive, occasionally humorous look at UNC basketball. Duke Sucks A Completely Evenhanded, Unbiased Investigation into the Most Evil Team on Planet Earth By Reed Tucker St. Martin's Griffin Copyright © 2012 Reed Tucker All right reserved. ISBN: 9781250004635 CHARGE #1   DUKE IS DIRTIER THAN A BUS STATION BATHROOM FLOOR.     “I know for a fact that that was not by accident.” That’s UNC guard Dewey Burke’s take on one of the most infamous plays in Duke basketball history. March 4, 2007. Chapel Hill, North Carolina. With 14.5 seconds left in an eventual 86–72 UNC victory, Carolina’s Tyler Hansbrough retrieves his own miss from the foul line and goes up for a putback. Suddenly, Duke’s Gerald Henderson comes swooping in from behind and smashes his elbow into Hansbrough’s face, breaking the star player’s nose and sending blood gushing down his mug, across his uniform, and onto the floor. “I can’t tell you how I know that or details, but I know that was not an accident,” says Burke, who was on the court during the play and held Hansbrough back from charging Henderson. “That was supposed to happen. I don’t think they were trying to break Tyler’s nose or wanted him to bleed like that, but they were trying to send some sort of message of, ‘We’re not going out like this.’” Everyone involved, including both coaches, claimed in the postgame press conference that the elbow was an accident. (Though Coach K would snidely suggest that it was partially UNC coach Roy Williams’s fault for leaving his starters on the floor so late in the game.) “But look, we were gonna take the high road and say, ‘Hey, we knew it wasn’t on purpose, and we’re moving on,’” Burke says. “But all of us in the program knew there was a lot more to it than that.” Dirty is a tough thing to prove. One man’s “hard foul” is another man’s “assault and battery.” Anyone who’s hooped on the playgrounds is familiar with the “no blood, no foul” rule, but Duke seems to take it a bit too literally sometimes. While no one can prove that Duke is out to play dirty basketball, the trail of blood, bruises, and broken bones the team has left in its wake would seem to speak for itself. There will be blood, all right. Lots of blood. So much blood that a game will look like an episode of CSI: Durham . Let’s go back a few decades and peer deep into the history of Duke dirtiness, all the way back to the 1930s, shortly after the school became Duke University. “Duke was preparing to play North Carolina. Concerned with UNC’s big center ‘Tiny’ Harper, Bill Werber and Harry Councillor practiced throwing a ball at the head of Duke center Joe Crosson, who would duck as the ball approached him,” Jim Sumner wrote in his book, Tales from the Duke Blue Devils Hardwood. “At the beginning of the game with UNC, Werber fired a ball at Crosson’s head. He ducked and the ball hit Harper flush in the face, temporarily stunning him. The big man was strangely passive the rest of the game.” The actual douche bag was invented in 1848 but we’re pretty sure this incident is the first time a human acted like one. Flash forward to February 4, 1961. The incident known as “The Fight” also involves a game with North Carolina. After UNC’s Larry Brown is fouled unneces