Carla Browne-1/5/00, 3:05 pm to: All Departments re: I'm leaving now . . . but before I go there are some things you should know...!!!! Set in a London ad agency desperate to land a coveted big account, e follows the bureaucratic bungling, cutthroat maneuvers, and outrageous sexual antics of a group of Miller-Shanks employees as they scheme, lie, lust, and claw their way up (and down) the company ladder. Written by a former advertising copywriter, this hilarious, dead-on-target novel marks the debut of a hip and exciting new voice in contemporary fiction. With the click of a mouse, Matt Beaumont brings the novel of letters into the twenty-first century, turning his merciless, unerring eye on today's Machiavellian corporate culture-with uproarious results. Rachel Stevenson, Personnel-1/5/00, 3:09 pm to: Chandra Kapoor cc: David Crutton re: Urgent: Please delete Carla Browne's ID from e-mail with immediate effect. Thank you. MATT BEAUMONT is a creative director at an ad agency in London, and is the author of e and five other books. Monday, January 3rd  David Crutton – 1/3/00, 8:13am to:Fiona Craigiecc: re:your butt Take that fucking Walkman off, get your arse in here and show me how I do an all-staff e-mail. Every time I click “ok” on the address it copies it to Miller Shanks Helsinki.   David Crutton – 1/3/00, 8:27am to:All Departmentscc:james_f_weissmuller@millershanks-ny.comre:NEW MILLENNIUM – NEW HEIGHTS First, a happy new Millennium to each and every one of you. Thank you also for sacrificing your bank holidays today to come in and begin the bid for the Coca-Cola business. As you know, in two weeks we pitch for this most prestigious advertising account. To win it we must all perform out of our skins. Daunting as it may seem, I know we can scale this peak. Those in doubt should take a look at what we have achieved in the last twelve months. When I joined you at the beginning of ’99 we were in the doldrums and Jim Weissmuller in New York gave me a mountain to climb. He said, “make Miller Shanks London big again.” Pitch wins for Freedom Mail Order, the LOVE Channel and Mako Cars, the Philippines’ premier automotive manufacturer, have catapulted us back into the Campaign top twenty for the first time in eight years. He said, “make Miller Shanks respected.” In the Marketing Week survey that asked clients which advertising agency they would most like to work with, we rocketed from 45th to 33rd. He said, “win awards.” I brought in Simon Horne to shake up the Creative Department and do just that. His efforts are already paying off, with Pinki and Liam’s fabulous ads for Kimbelle Panty Pads scooping bronze at Creative Circle. We can all be extremely proud of our efforts. We are still a long way from the summit, but “base camp” has been established and the final assault beckons! Let’s break camp, attach our lines and get off to a flier in 2000 by adding an $84 billion brand to our client list. Go, go, go! David Crutton CEO   pertti_vanhelden@millershanks-helsinki.co.fi 1/3/00, 8:46am (10:46am local) to:david_crutton@millershanks-london.co.ukcc: re:NEW MILLENNIUM – NEW HEIGHTS Your e-mail I think is coming to me in Helsinki by mistake, but it’s notwithstanding fun to be reading about my chums in London. I was not realising that mountaineering was possible in Old London Town. Most fascinating! By the way, is there any help we give you with the Coca-Cola pitch? It is a very popular drink here in icy cold Finland, especially with our many “groovy” young folk. As fellow CEO, I am asking my red-hot creativity department to have lots of brilliant ideas for you. While I am on cyberspacenet, can please you get me tickets for Great Balls of Grease? Mrs. van Helden and my good self will be visiting in London at 12 February. We will be packing our crampons. Your pal, Pertti   David Crutton – 1/3/00, 8:49am to:Fiona Craigiecc: re:your fat butt Get your fucking nose out of Miss London and explain why, despite your best efforts, my last e-mail went to that pathetic twat, van Helden. And get me two tickets for Great Balls of Fire or Grease on 12 Feb. I don’t think the gobshite Finn knows the difference.   Daniel Westbrooke – 1/3/00, 9:17am to:All Departmentscc: re:a new face I would like you all to join me in welcoming Katie Philpott, who joins us today as a trainee account executive. Katie will be working in Harriet Greenbaum’s group on Mako. She will add her spark and vivacity to an already lively team. Please give her the warmest of Miller Shanks welcomes. Daniel Westbrooke Head of Client Services   Rachel Stevenson – 1/3/00, 10:10am to:All Departmentscc: re:changes Sadly, Fiona Craigie has decided to leave us and is no longer David Crutton’s PA. I am sure you will join me in wishing her well for the future. Lorraine Pallister will be temping until a permanent replacement arrives. Please make her welcome. Rachel Stevenson Personnel   Simon Horne – 1/3/00, 10:14am to:Creative Departmentcc:David Crutton Daniel Westbrooke