** This book is a memoir ** An innocent child named Brock Talon longs for the Jehovah's Witness paradise, but in time finds it isn't all it's cracked up to be. With Armageddon ever looming, his life becomes an endless stream of restrictions and mandated works, harsh discipline and conditional relationships. Join Brock's struggle with apostasy and persecution, sanctioned abuse and God-like elders. Learn with him about his faith's built-in sexual dysfunction and an eerily business-like design, as well as its dubious origin, repeated failed prophecy, fixation on demons, and the curious "anointed ones." Will Brock ignore his eye-opening discoveries, or will he act and lose everything? This story, both humorous and tragic, is about one man's personal pilgrimage through the dystopian world of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society. Along with millions like him, will Brock be able to safely make his escape from paradise? "A fool's paradise is a wiseman's hell." -Thomas Fuller, Historian TABLE OFCONTENTS Prologue - Spare the rod and spoil the Book Study - The worst things in life were free - Kingdom maladies - Blood isn't thicker than water... - Good things can come in small minded packages - I ain't got nothing but apathy babe, eight days a week - Wallpapering the Titanic - Violence is golden - Apostasy is plain to see from a third degree - Giving The Devil his boo - Home is where the hurt is - The wandering years - Disjointed anointed - God's House of Blues - With friends like you, who needs enmities? - A network marketing malaise - Oral's fair in love and war - Death may be the easiest way - Mind your elders - Spiritual junk food at the improper time - My first... - A recovering Watch Tower-Holic Escape from Paradise - excerpts from the book The worst things in life were free In the trees there were parrots looking down, who also appeared to be smiling, thus demonstrating that paradise was tropical. The lions were lying next to lambs who were smiling too. By then, every person and beast on Earth would only be eating grains, fruits and vegetables, even the lions, so the lambs had lots to be happy about since they wouldn't be turned into lamb chops. Blood isn't thicker than water... Halloween? Are you crazy?! It's demonic! Besides, perverts will try to drug our candy and molest us! Or maybe they'll feed us caramel apples with razor blades in them! Good things can come in small minded packages I gave my first talk at the ripe old age of eight. There I was, barely able to look over the podium, with the microphone having to be bent way down to reach my mouth. I had the life experience of a fruit fly, and yet I was given the privilege of "instructing the congregation" directly because I was male. Violence is golden God would resurrect us to show those terrible people that they didn't have the last laugh. Poof! We would reappear in the Earthly paradise and into the loving arms of our families tearfully waiting for us there. Take that evil bad guys! Disjointed anointed Most Jehovah's Witnesses knew very few anointed people personally, but those they did know of were usually quite old. As a child I thought this was the way it should be. Anointed people should look like mummies in their best Sunday clothes. God's House of Blues Speaking of Lot, he had sex with his own daughters for heaven's sake! But in his defense, I suppose it would be pretty demoralizing to have your wife turned into a condiment, and end up living in a cave with desperate daughters who must have been so ugly even the rapists at Sodom didn't want them. My first... A typical Jehovah's Witness is an extremely cheap person, so my spending money this way would now separate me from most of them just for that reason alone. My ex-Witness friends were so tight, when they finally did open their wallets, dust came out and choked them. Brock Talon is an author with a distinct voice and style all his own. He writes from his personal experiences in a way that makes it seem as if you are living them yourself. His memoirs are about what it is like to live as one of Jehovah's Witnesses for over 35 years,especially after serving at the world headquarters at Brooklyn Bethel, New York. Now that Brock has finally left the religion and built a happy and fulfilling life, he wishes to pass on his story in order to provide comfort and encouragement for those who may still be bound by religious chains. He does so with a story-teller's voice, pathos and humor. So pack your bags, make room for inspiration and invention, and take a journey with Brock.