Is God good when life isn’t? Is He kind when things fall apart — or never even happen in the first place? Where is God when you're living a chapter of your story that you never would have chosen? Life often looks different than what we hoped, planned, or expected. The phone rings in the middle of the night, the test results come back, or the relationship falls apart and we’re left disappointed, lonely, heartbroken and disillusioned. After a brain tumor diagnosis at age seventeen, Kaitlyn Bouchillon came face to face with the first of what would be several “even if not” moments. It’s one thing to say God is able. But when the rubber meets the road, will we still say He’s good even if He doesn’t come through like we know that He could? With honesty and vulnerability from her own in betweens, Kaitlyn will help you: Choose hope for tomorrow when today feels like a question mark. - Find strength to believe even when you can’t see and faith to hold on when it all feels too far gone. - Shift your suspicion that God isn’t kind or present to the truth found in Scripture that on every single page of the story, God is with us and working all things for our good. - Discover truths to hold onto when doubt threatens to overwhelm. - Begin to say “even if not” in the messy middle of your own in betweens. We live in a world where the story doesn't always unfold the way we expected. In those moments we need to know we're going to be okay. We need to know we can trust the Author. We need to know whatever happens we are not done yet. That is what Kaitlyn Bouchillon beautifully, honestly and powerfully offers our hearts in this book. When I got to the final page it didn't feel like the end; it felt like a new chapter of hope in my life was ready to begin Holley Gerth , Wall Street Journal bestselling author of You're Already Amazing Even If Not is a sweet, grace-filled read to help you fill in the blanks that fall after life's question marks. Kayla Aimee , author of Anchored: Finding Hope in the Unexpected This is a book about fighting for faith & community, a book about hurting & healing, a book about living our stories & then sharing them with others. This is a book that reminds us that life in all its broken, beautiful glory is never static - it's always growing around us and connecting our highs and our lows with that ampersand - the space where most of us live. And Kaitlyn generously and bravely unpacks her in between moments to help us recognize and celebrate our own. Lisa-Jo Baker , author of Surprised by Motherhood and community manager for (in)courage Even If Not is a tender, gracious read that will not only help you more fully receive the love and care of your tender, gracious Savior, it will help you settle into your own spectacular life story. With wisdom beyond her years, Kaitlyn's words moved Gospel truth from my head to my heart. Kristen Strong , author of Girl Meets Change: Truths to Carry You through Life's Transitions I had barely read a few pages of Even If Not and I was in need of a highlighter to mark profound statements I had read. Throughout the book Kaitlyn shares nuggets of truth that the reader will want to revisit--hence the need for highlighting. King David once wrote that those who love God's Word have more wisdom than the ancient and Kaitlyn's writing is this principle on display in Even If Not . Get out your highlighter, and start mining the many nuggets that Kaitlyn has put in print. Jackie Kendall , bestselling author of Lady in Waiting Kaitlyn E. Bouchillon is an author and blogger who believes every person is a walking story and every story matters. She loves writing - blogs, books, and handwritten letters - is addicted to queso, and is crazy about her people. She currently splits her time between Starbucks and her cute little apartment in Birmingham, Alabama.