Not long ago, the world was awash with venture capital in search of the next Yahoo! or Amazon.com. No product, no experience, no technology, no business plan -- no problem. You could still get $40 million from investors to start up your dot-com. And you could get people to work around the clock for stock options and the promise of millions. Then, around April 2000, it all came crashing down. Smart investors, esteemed analysts, and the business press found themselves asking: Who knew people wouldn't rush out to trade in their U.S. dollars for a virtual currency called Flooz? - Who knew people wouldn't blow all their Flooz on a used car from the guys at iMotors.com? - And who needed a used car from iMotors.com when they could just sit at home and have 40-lb. bags of dog food delivered to them by a sock puppet? F'd Companies captures the waste, greed, and human stupidity of more than 100 dot-com companies. Written in Philip J. Kaplan's popular, cynical style, these profiles are filled with colorful anecdotes, factoids, and information unavailable anywhere else. Together they form a gleeful encyclopedia of how not to run a business. They also capture a truly remarkable period of history. F'd Companies is required reading for everyone involved in the "new economy" -- assuming your severance check can cover the cost. "The New York Times" Philip Kaplan is another one of those annoyingly young dot-com successes that no one with a real job wants to hear another word about. Except that his Web site is so perversely satisfying. "The Washington Post" Kaplan seems determined to make Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates -- everyone's definition of the ultimate geek -- look as suave as Cary Grant. Jeff Dachis CO-Founder and ex-CEO, Razorfish When I think of FUCKED I think of Philip Kaplan. Joel Durham Jr. ex-Technical Editor, CNET Kaplan knew I was getting laid off before I did. Thanks for the heads up, asshole. Susan Callaghan ex-Human Resources, Rare Medium I laughed, I cried, I filed for unemployment. Timothy J. Seager Managing Director, Watermark Venture Partners If Blodget still had a job, he'd rate "F'd Companies" a strong buy. Yahoo! Internet Life Who are the latest casualties of the Dot-Bomb Era? Nobody knows better than this guy. "The Washington Post" Kaplan seems determined to make Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates -- everyone's definition of the ultimate geek -- look as suave as Cary Grant. Jeff Dachis CO-Founder and ex-CEO, Razorfish When I think of FUCKED I think of Philip Kaplan. Joel Durham Jr. ex-Technical Editor, CNET Kaplan knew I was getting laid off before I did. Thanks for the heads up, asshole. Yahoo! Internet Life Who are the latest casualties of the Dot-Bomb Era? Nobody knows better than this guy. Susan Callaghan ex-Human Resources, Rare Medium In May 2000, having nothing better to do with his Memorial Day weekend, Philip J. Kaplan created Fuckedcompany.com to track the layoffs, the bankruptcies, and the generally bad behavior of dot-com companies. The site became an immediate success and has grown into one of the most well-read news sources on the Web, attracting more than 4 million visitors a month. Fuckedcompany.com was named "Site of the Year" by Rolling Stone, Time, and Yahoo!, among others. Kaplan is also the president of PK Interactive, an e-commerce solutions firm. He lives in New York City and can be seen playing drums in smoky heavy metal clubs around town. Chapter One: Tough Ship PETS.COM I'm out of dog food and my cat's box needs new litter. I know what I'll do: I'll order Dog Chow and Fresh Step online from a sock puppet and then I'll watch the dog starve and the cat shit all over the house while I wait for it to be delivered! Waiting was just part of the problem. Pets.com assumed, probably correctly, that many potential customers would be turned away by high shipping costs. So...they only charged $5 shipping for a standard 40-lb. bag of pet food, when actual shipping costs were at least twice that. Similarly, small items like a $2.50 dog bone weren't worth shipping. Amazon.com, one of Pets.com's major backers, thought they could use their muscle to make Pets.com succeed. Instead, they managed to blow through over $100 million with the help of brilliant purchases such as a $2 million Super Bowl ad and a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Other investors included the infamous venture capital firms Idealab and Hummer Winblad -- the same butt-plugs who brought us Rivals.com, Gazoontite.com, and TheKnot.com. They should have sold actual pets and shipped them UPS -- better margins... WEBVAN Look, I'm the laziest fucker on Earth. I buy tons of shit online, but I still go to the supermarket to buy my food. Although there have been times when I've fantasized about ordering from Webvan just to watch some poor sap unload my groceries while I sit there, watching TV and drinking a beer... Uhh...okay so raising and burning through more than $1 BILLIO