First, Do Nothing Lead. Regulate. Respond. Most of us weren’t taught how to handle emotional intensity. We were taught to fix it, smooth it over, take the blame, lash out, or shut down. This book is about the moment before that. The one where our nervous system is screaming for action— and we choose, instead, to pause. Not to disconnect. Not to suppress. But to stay anchored long enough to lead ourselves through the storm. First, Do Nothing is a nervous-system survival manual for everyday conflict: with partners, kids, family, friends, and most of all—your own impulses. You’ll learn how to: Interrupt the urge to react without collapsing into silence - Hold your boundaries without punishing - Stay in connection without absorbing someone else’s chaos - Use pause as a form of leadership, not avoidance - Repair without shame, and return without disappearing Whether you're the one who explodes or the one who shuts down, this is a book about what happens in that first breath. The moment where power shifts from panic to presence. You don’t have to fix the whole pattern today. You just have to pause long enough to choose what happens next.