A thinking person’s guide to ancient and modern relationships, and how to love in a fast-changing world. Love, like madness, can only fill the models that society makes available. We are the ultimate social animal. Our intimate relationships are the most important thing in our life, often, more important than life itself—insofar as we would die for those we love. But at a time of unprecedented social and technological change, the path to the intimacy that we crave has been confused, leaving us more connected and yet more alone and uncertain than ever before. This book is intended as a thinking person’s guide to marriage and its alternatives, and to human relationships and sexuality in general. Even if you have already determined your destination, even if you have already set sail, this book should help you to navigate the storms and doldrums that lie ahead, and, more important still, to question the very purpose and value of your journey. A tour-de-force: erudite, funny, and even wise. —Prof Anthony Synott, author of The Body Social and Re-Thinking Men Whether or not to marry is a choice that is as mystifying as it is momentous. This book is a treasure trove of historical analysis, divergent perspectives, and vital considerations that will help you decide whether, when, how, and with whom to make the leap. —Dr John Amodeo, psychotherapist and author of Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships About the author Dr Neel Burton FRSA is a psychiatrist, philosopher, and wine-lover who lives and teaches in Oxford, England. He is a Fellow of Green-Templeton College in the University of Oxford, and the recipient of the Society of Authors’ Richard Asher Prize, the British Medical Association’s Young Authors’ Award, the Medical Journalists’ Association Open Book Award, and a Best in the World Gourmand Award. His work has featured in the likes of Aeon, the Spectator, and the Times, and been translated into several languages. Contents Preface 1. Monogamy 2. Polygamy 3. Polyamory 4. Gender fluidity in gods and heroes 5. Gender variation and same-sex relations in precolonial times 6. The gay revolution 7. Sex, love, and marriage in Ancient Egypt 8. The oldest gays in history 9. Sex, love, and marriage in Ancient Rome 10. The history and psychology of the orgy 11. Love in the Bible 12. Marriage in the Bible 13. Homosexuality in the Bible 14. The meaning of Adam and Eve 15. The history of love 16. Valentine schmalentine 17. The 7 types of love 18. The monastic alternative 19. The philosophy of lust 20. The psychology of sadomasochism 21. The magic of masturbation 22. Touch hunger 23. The challenges of intimacy 24. The psychology of the bachelor party 25. The history of the wedding in the West 26. A feminist critique of marriage 27. The rise and demise of divorce 28. Are married people healthier? 29. The future of the family 30. Should we have children? ♥ Grab your copy now for a fascinating and life-changing read. A tour-de-force: erudite, funny, and even wise. -- Prof Anthony Synott, author of The Body Social and Re-Thinking Men Whether or not to marry is a choice that is as mystifying as it is momentous. This book is a treasure trove of historical analysis, divergent perspectives, and vital considerations that will help you decide whether, when, how, and with whom to make the leap. -- John Amodeo, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships Burton guides the reader to unlearn, rediscover, and return to wholeness. It is a journey out of Plato's cave... -- The International Review of Books Burton is never short of an interesting and sharp judgment. --Prof Peter Toohey, Psychology Today I've read many Neel Burton books. He's a wonderful writer and able to immerse you lightly in pretty heavy stuff. -- Adrian Bailey, Vine Voice