"Rule number one: Never try to stake a vampire with a piece of Formica shelving." Alex Cheradon is a professional. His business cards specifically say he doesn't do the supernatural. But in a world where narcotics demons are a Tuesday problem and your ex-partner is a literal lunatic who wants you dead because "the voices" said so, professionalism is a relative term. Now, a tech billionaire has offered Alex a million-dollar payday to find his missing daughter. The catch? She might be a Satanist trying to bring a creature named Pookie to Earth. Armed with a .45 Colt—a "gift" from his deadbeat dad—and a sixth sense that mostly just tells him when he's about to get punched, Alex has to save a world he's not even sure he likes. Warning: Contains high-speed sarcasm, questionable life choices, and a protagonist who really, really needs a win.