"I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make." -- Seve Ballesteros, explaining his four-putt on the 16th green at the 1986 Masters "At 15 we put down my bag to hunt for a ball, found the ball, lost the bag." -- Lee Trevino, at Royal Birkdale "He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie." -- Tommy Bolt, on Bill Clinton "That's Jack Benny. He's always out there on bad days like that looking for golf balls." -- Bing Crosby, after a skin diver emerged from the water at the 16th hole of the Crosby Pro-Am "I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie. What could be better?" -- Ray Floyd, on turning 50 and qualifying for the Senior Tour "Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he has a divot over each ear." -- David Feherty, on a John Daly haircut "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." -- Jack Lemmon In this hilarious collection of the funniest quips, slams, and witticisms ever made on or off the links, players, fans, commentators, caddies, and celebrities sound off on it all. Covering over 100 years of the sport, Golf Shorts features the game's most legendary characters, including Arnold Palmer, Ben Hogan, Fuzzy Zoeller, Chi Chi Rodriguez, Jack Nicklaus, Greg Norman, Peter Jacobsen, and many others. From the dry wit of Harvey Penick to the cutting cynism of Mark Twain, this collection of entertaining one-liners is for golf enthusiasts of all generations. Sports Book