"Good Enough Parenting" combines principles from schema therapy and the latest research with the Louis’ experiences as therapists, community leaders and parents to provide a thorough, practical, easy-to-read and well-reasoned guide. "Good Enough Parenting" introduces “Core Emotional Needs” and explains why meeting them is absolutely crucial for raising emotionally healthy children. Parents will gain insights into their own issues and learn how to avoid “Exasperation Interactions” as well as how to “Repair” after a conflict and Reconnect” with teenagers and adult children. Schema Therapy has been successful with adults, but I have always wanted to see someone do something on preventing schemas, or Lifetraps, in children, and here it is! --- Dr. Jeffrey Young Dept. of Psychiatry, Columbia University, New York; Founder, Schema Therapy; Author, Reinventing Your Life This ground-breaking book will help parents raise healthier children, and when they grow up, healthier and more successful adults. I highly recommend it. --- Charles L Whitfield MD International bestselling author, Healing the Child Within [Full of] step-by-step strategies for overcoming [parents’] most difficult obstacles…Good Enough Parenting will be a valuable asset to your library. --- Wendy Behary President, International Society of Schema Therapy, Author, “Disarming the Narcissist” Based in Asia for over 25 years, the John and Karen Louis divide their time between conducting their “I Choose Us” and “Good Enough Parenting” workshops around the world, helping others in and around Singapore, and serving on a myriad of committees. John is a certified Schema Therapist and member of the International Society for Schema Therapy, trained by the founder, Dr. Jeffrey Young; Karen is a certified Solution Focused Therapist. A Malaysian, John enjoys playing competitive badminton, and Karen, a native of Texas, enjoys mysteries; they especially love spending time at the ocean with their two adult children. John Philip Louis, Karen McDonald Louis--both hold a Masters Degree in Counseling and are professional counselors based in Singapore; John was the first certified schema therapist in Southeast Asia and is a regular speaker at international conferences. Their marriage book, "I Choose Us", has been translated into seven languages and their marriage & parenting programs are taught all over the world. The Louis recently received confirmation that their marriage program will be cataloged by the federal Administration for Children and Families (ACF) under the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Parenting matters. Don’t let anyone tell you that parenting is not important. It is the most significant job that you will ever do, with far-reaching consequences. We distilled a painstakingly long and detailed study summarizing over 1000 parenting articles into two sentences: * Teens whose parents are supportive and caring, but who also consistently monitor and enforce family rules, are more likely to be motivated and successful at school, as well as psychologically and physically healthy. * In contrast, adolescents whose parents are overly strict and give them little independence, as well as those whose parents are warm but permissive, are more likely to be impulsive and engage in risky behavior. These findings are not really surprising; they sound like common sense. Parents should be close to their teens, practice what they preach, and avoid being both too controlling and too permissive. However, the following bit of research is a bit more startling: A study of almost 600 families in New York over 18 years found that unhealthy parenting was more of a predictor of children’s mental illness than the mental health of the parents themselves! The more frequent occurrence of unhealthy parenting, the more likely the occurrence of mental illness in children. Parenting matters. We recognize that most parents are trying their best to love their children, and that their mistakes are usually unintentional and subtle. And while there is no such thing as a perfect mom or dad, parents can learn to be “good enough”. (We didn’t make up that phrase--English pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott wrote about the “good enough mother” over a half-century ago.) Good Enough Parenting takes being intentional, and it takes training. Allow us to illustrate this principle with a story from Karen’s extended family in Texas. The McDonalds play a card game called Liverpool Rummy. They see every holiday as an excuse for a tournament; three tables or more of six players is not an uncommon sight at any gathering. While new family members struggle to learn the intricacies of the game with its idiosyncratic rules, after a few Thanksgivings and Christmases they begin to pick up the skills needed and pretty soon they start winning, or at least not coming in last. They learn not to sit behind the uncle who buys everything, to beware the aunt who always plays low, and to n