Grandma’s Illegal Dragon Racing Circuit A Humorous Science Fiction Satire for Fans of Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, and Absurdist Metafiction Spreadsheets are spells. Dragons are unionized. Nachos are a sacrament. Buckle up. When actuary Ptolemy “Tolly” Blackthorne inherits his grandmother’s scarf—a knitted, contraband probability anchor—he also inherits her secret: a multi-dimensional dragon-racing circuit that runs on risk, wit, and a frankly alarming amount of nacho cheese. Tolly’s talent for modeling disaster was supposed to keep him safe. Instead, it drafts him into a portal-hopping season where vertical Niagara roars upward, magma judges enforce “Fun is mandatory,” and Mars rovers form a picket line for better dental. With a knitting-needle-wielding grandma, a sphinx librarian who demands inside voices, a beatbox legend who drops bass on probability, and a chorus of dangerously sincere Chads, Tolly learns the one formula that matters: chaos + order = meaning . But the circuit has a parasite— Mundungus Sweetwater , the audit made flesh—hungry to turn every choice into a void. To win, Tolly must turn spreadsheets into poetry, enemies into footnotes, and a scarf into a future where dragons get to choose what they are for. For readers of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett , and anyone who’s ever believed a to-do list could save the world, Grandma’s Illegal Dragon Racing Circuit is a funny, absurdist science fiction adventure where metafiction meets satire , dragons meet spreadsheets , and chaos meets heart. A darkly comic, British-style sci-fi fantasy romp about probability, rebellion, and why no one is ever a rounding error. Keywords: humorous science fiction, absurdist humor, Pratchett satire, metafiction, dark comedy, British humor, surreal sci-fi adventure.