The first comprehensive guide to helping teens with autism—from the acclaimed authors of Overcoming Autism With an estimated half a million Americans under twenty-six on the autism spectrum, this book offers the reassurance, solace, and practical solutions that so many people are searching for. Following up on their work in Overcoming Autism , which offered advice for teaching young children on the spectrum, Lynn Koegel and Claire LaZebnik now present strategies for working with teens and young adults living with this complex condition. Addressing universal parental concerns, from first crushes and a changing body to how to succeed in college and beyond, Growing Up on the Spectrum is a beacon of hope and wisdom for parents, therapists, and educators alike. RQNA Claire LaZebnik is a published novelist and magazine writer. She lives with her husband and four children in Pacific Palisades, California. Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Acknowledgements   SECTION I - Getting Started 1. Introduction 2. Terms, Interventions, and Techniques   SECTION II - Making and Maintaining Good Friendships 1. Introduction and Some General Rules About Friendship 2. The Art of Conversation 3. Outings and Get-togethers 4. Parties 5. Dealing with Bullying and Peer Pressure   SECTION III - Making and Maintaining Successful Romantic Relationships 1. Introduction 2. Dating 3. Sex   SECTION IV - Making School Successful 1. Introduction 2. Middle and High School: Supported Independence 3. College   SECTION V - Beyond the College Years 1. Introduction 2. Jobs 3. Living Conditions 4. Legal Planning   SECTION VI - Improving Daily Life 1. Introduction 2. Walking Out the Door Looking Good 3. Managing Behavior 4. Managing Modern Technology 5. Improving Coexisting (aka Comorbid) Conditions   An Afterword for Educators by Robert L. Koegel, PhD Resources Index Also by Lynn Kern Koegel and Claire LaZebnik   Overcoming Autism: Finding the Answers, Strategies, and Hope That Can Transform a Child’s Life VIKING Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A. Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) Penguin Books Australia Ltd, 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi-110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England First published in 2009 by Viking Penguin, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright © Lynn Kern Koegel and Claire LaZebnik, 2009 All rights reserved While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA Koegel, Lynn Kern. Growing up on the spectrum: a guide to life, love, and learning for teens and young adults with autism and Asperger’s / by Lynn Kern Koegel and Claire LaZebnik. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. eISBN : 978-1-101-01653-4 1. Autism in adolescence—Popular works. 2. Asperger’s syndrome in adolescence— Popular works. I. LaZebnik, Claire Scovell. II. Title. RJ506.A9K635 2009 616.85’88200835—dc22 2008041835 Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrightable materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. For our Roberts: We’re incredibly lucky to have your skill and enthusiasm supporting us in both our personal and professional lives. Acknowledgments First and foremost, we’d like to thank our children (six in total) for bringing so much happiness into our