Haunted is a novel made up of twenty-three horrifying, hilarious, and stomach-churning stories. They’re told by people who have answered an ad for a writer’s retreat and unwittingly joined a “Survivor”-like scenario where the host withholds heat, power, and food. As the storytellers grow more desperate, their tales become more extreme, and they ruthlessly plot to make themselves the hero of the reality show that will surely be made from their plight. This is one of the most disturbing and outrageous books you’ll ever read, one that could only come from the mind of Chuck Palahniuk. “Reading a Palahniuk novel is like getting zipped inside a boxer’s heavy bag while the author goes to work on you, pounding you until there is nothing left but a big bag of bones and blood and pain.” — The Miami Herald “To Palahniuk’s credit, there is something here to appall almost every sensibility. The author has a singular knack for coming up with inventive new ways to shock and degrade.”— The New York Post “Frequently entertaining [and] often appalling. . . . There are paragraphs here—entire pages, in fact—that are as disgusting as anything I’ve ever read. Truly vivid and harrowing (and often quite funny).”— Minneapolis Star Tribune “Summer reading for people who like their lit doused in bodily fluids.. . . Haunted has an anarchic sensibility that hurdles over the top.”— Time Out New York “Chuck Palahniuk is one of the most intriguing writers of our time. [ Haunted ] is a blend of stories that are among the most horrifying, stomach-churning and mind-blowing tales ever encountered.” — Tucson Citizen “Chuck Palahniuk’s rightful place is among literary giants. He combines the masculinity of Ernest Hemingway, the satirical bent of Juvenal and the attitude of Lenny Bruce.” — Greensboro News & Record “To Palahniuk’s credit, there is something here to appall almost every sensibility. The author has a singular knack for coming up with inventive new ways to shock and degrade.” — New York Post “Funny, always on the edge of reality and bloodied by the profound horror of narcissism.” — Playboy “Place this bet in your time capsule: Chuck Palahniuk’s novels will be required reading in American literature classes 100 years from now.” — The Fort Myers News-Press “Palahniuk is as unique and colorful as ever.” — The Onion “Searing and honest. ...His nasty detail and unimaginably horrible scenarios will give some people nightmares. This creepy ?ction masterpiece could be the de?nitive novel of our time for its genre.” — The Cincinnati News Record “Chuck Palahniuk appears to be going around the bend. ...A satire of reality television–an effective one–but also an homage to horror stories and a meditation on pop culture.” — The Seattle Times “The most original work of ?ction this year.” — The Guardian (London) “Chuck Palahniuk is up to his old tricks. ...His prose is, as always, gorgeous.” — Entertainment Weekly “One part Canterbury Tales , one part Lord of the Flies , and 100 percent classic Palahniuk. ...[His] grisliest book yet.” —Broward—Palm Beach New Times CHUCK PALAHNIUK is the author of fourteen novels— Beautiful You, Doomed, Damned, Tell-All, Pygmy, Snuff, Rant, Haunted, Diary, Lullaby, Choke, Invisible Monsters, Survivor , and  Fight Club —which have sold more than five million copies altogether in the United States. He is also the author of  Fugitives and Refugees , published as part of the Crown Journey Series, and the nonfiction collection  Stranger Than Fiction . He lives in the Pacific Northwest. Visit him on the web at chuckpalahniuk.net. Guinea Pigs This was supposed to be a writers' retreat. It was supposed to be safe. An isolated writers' colony, where we could work, run by an old, old, dying man named Whittier, until it wasn't. And we were supposed to write poetry. Pretty poetry. This crowd of us, his gifted students, locked away from the ordinary world for three months. And we called each other the "Matchmaker." And the "Missing Link." Or "Mother Nature." Silly labels. Free-association names. The same way--when you were little--you invented names for the plants and animals in your world. You called peonies--sticky with nectar and crawling with ants--the "ant flower." You called collies: Lassie Dogs. But even now, the same way you still call someone "that man with one leg." Or, "you know, the black girl . . ." We called each other: The "Earl of Slander." Or "Sister Vigilante." The names we earned, based on our stories. The names we gave each other, based on our life instead of our family: "Lady Baglady." "Agent Tattletale." Names based on our sins instead of our jobs: "Saint Gut-Free." And the "Duke of Vandals." Based on our faults and crimes. The opposite of superhero names. Silly names for real people. As if you cut open a rag doll and found inside: Real intestines, real lungs, a beating heart, blood. A lot of hot, sticky blood. And we were supposed to write short stories. Funny short stories. Too ma