Presenting simple yet highly effective methods for coping and healing, this book provides answers and relief to parents trying to deal with the loss of a child. It offers 100 practical, action-oriented tips for embracing grief, such as writing a letter to the child who has died; spending time with others who will listen to stories of grief; creating a memory book, box, or Web site; and remembering others who may still be struggling with the death. The guide also addresses common problems for grieving parents, including dealing with marital stress, helping surviving siblings, dealing with hurtful advice, and exploring feelings of guilt. This compassionate resource will aid parents who have been through the death of a child—whether the passing happened recently or many years ago, whether the child was young or an adult. Part of the Healing Your Grieving Heart series, which includes Healing Your Grieving Heart (1-879651-25-4), Healing Your Grieving Heart for Kids (1-879651-27-0), and Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens (1-879651-23-8) Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, is an internationally known teacher, a grief counselor, and the author of The Journey Through Grief and The Understanding Your Grief Journal . He is director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and faculty member at the University of Colorado Medical School’s department of family medicine. He is the “Children and Grief” columnist for Bereavement magazine and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live , and NBC’s Today . He lives in Fort Collins, Colorado. Healing a Parent's Grieving Heart 100 Practical Ideas After Your Child Dies By Alan D. Wolfelt Center for Loss and Life Transition Copyright © 2002 Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-879651-30-2 Contents Also by Alan Wolfelt:, Title Page, Copyright Page, Dedication, FOREWORD, INTRODUCTION, 1. - KNOW THAT YOU WILL SURVIVE., 2. - KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE., 3. - ALLOW FOR NUMBNESS., 4. - UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIEF AND MOURNING., 5. - BE COMPASSIONATE WITH YOURSELF., 6. - BE COMPASSIONATE WITH YOUR SPOUSE., 7. - BE COMPASSIONATE WITH YOUR SURVIVING CHILDREN., 8. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING, 9. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING, 10. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING, 11. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING, 12. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING, 13. - UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING, 14. - KNOW THAT GRIEF DOES NOT PROCEED IN ORDERLY, PREDICTABLE "STAGES.", 15. - CRY., 16. - BE AWARE THAT YOUR GRIEF AFFECTS YOUR BODY, HEART, SOCIAL SELF AND SPIRIT., 17. - EXPECT TO HAVE A MULTITUDE OF FEELINGS., 18. - KNOW THAT IT'S OK TO FEEL ANGRY., 19. - FIND WAYS TO UNDERSTAND AND COME TO THE LIMITS OF YOUR GUILT., 20. - MOVE TOWARD YOUR GRIEF, NOT AWAY FROM IT., 21. - PREPARE TO ANSWER "THE QUESTION.", 22. - COMMUNICATE OPENLY WITH YOUR FAMILY., 23. - USE THE NAME OF YOUR CHILD., 24. - TELL THE STORY, OVER AND OVER AGAIN IF YOU FEEL THE NEED., 25. - REACH OUT AND TOUCH., 26. - TREASURE YOUR CONCEPT OF WHO YOUR CHILD WAS., 27. - KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED., 28. - WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE., 29. - COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE., 30. - ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL SELFISH OR RESENTFUL., 31. - GET AWAY FROM IT ALL., 32. - SAY NO., 33. - PRACTICE BREATHING IN AND OUT., 34. - RESET YOUR CLOCK., 35. - TAKE SOME TIME OFF WORK., 36. - GO EASY ON PEOPLE WHO SAY STUPID THINGS., 37. - BE COMPASSIONATE IN JUDGING OTHER PARENTS., 38. - UNDERSTAND THE UNIQUE NEEDS OF GRIEVING FATHERS., 39. - UNDERSTAND THE UNIQUE NEEDS OF GRIEVING MOTHERS., 40. - UNDERSTAND THE UNIQUE NEEDS OF GRIEVING GRANDPARENTS., 41. - WEAR A SYMBOL OF MOURNING., 42. - VISIT THE CEMETERY., 43. - FIND WAYS TO CONTINUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHILD WHO DIED., 44. - UNDERSTAND THE ROLE OF "LINKING OBJECTS.", 45. - DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT WITH YOUR CHILD'S ROOM AND BELONGINGS., 46. - LET GO OF DESTRUCTIVE MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF AND MOURNING., 47. - LIVE FOR YOUR CHILD., 48. - KNOW THAT IT'S NORMAL TO RETHINK DEATH., 49. - WRITE A LETTER., 50. - DON'T EXPECT YOURSELF TO MOURN OR HEAL IN A CERTAIN WAY OR IN A CERTAIN TIME., 51. - BE MINDFUL OF ANNIVERSARIES., 52. - TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF., 53. - KEEP A JOURNAL., 54. - ACKNOWLEDGE ALL THE LOSSES THIS DEATH HAS WROUGHT., 55. - ORGANIZE A TREE PLANTING., 56. - PLAN A CEREMONY., 57. - ORGANIZE A MEMORY BOOK., 58. - SUBSCRIBE TO HEALING., 59. - DON'T BE ALARMED BY "GRIEFBURSTS.", 60. - THINK YOUNG., 61. - FOLLOW YOUR NOSE., 62. - LISTEN TO THE MUSIC., 63. - PRAY., 64. - LEARN SOMETHING NEW., 65. - TAKE A RISK., 66. - PICTURE THIS., 67. - HELP OTHERS., 68. - VOLUNTEER., 69. - LAUGH., 70. - VISIT THE GREAT OUTDOORS., 71. - BRIGHTEN UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT., 72. - SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE., 73. - ESTABLISH A MEMORIAL FUND IN THE NAME OF YOUR CHILD., 74. - TALK TO A COUNSELOR., 75. - WATCH FOR WARNING SIGNS., 76. - LOOK INTO SUPPORT GROUPS.