In this timely, relevant guide, parents will learn proactive strategies for unpacking one of God's greatest mysteries: their teenager. It's an MTV world, and teenagers are under more pressure than ever to grow up fast, look sexy, and be independent. Teens are bombarded with messages from the mainstream media at every turn. How to Really Parent Your Teenager provides an up-to-the-minute analysis of this tumultuous world of adolescence, outlining strategies for parents to be relevant and effective. Best-selling author Dr. Ross Campbell has spent more than 30 years studying the parent-child relationship and counseling thousands of parents. Into this rapidly changing culture he offers a guidebook of positive, proven strategies for real-world problems. Parents will learn how to spot depression and anticipate rebellion, how to discuss sexuality and keep anger in check, and most importantly, how to maintain communication and communicate love. Foreword by Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr. Ross Campbell is a psychiatrist and the author of several books on parenting and child development, including the best-selling How to Really Love Your Child. He lives in Chattanooga, TN. how to really parent YOUR TEENAGER Raising Balanced Teens in an Unbalanced World By Ross Campbell ROB SUGGS W Publishing Group Copyright © 2007 Ross Campbell M.D. with ROB SUGGS All right reserved. ISBN: 978-0-8499-4542-7 Contents Foreword by Gary Chapman.........................................v1 A Stranger in the House........................................12 Anger: The Essential Problem...................................193 Keys to Self-Control...........................................414 Love: The Essential Solution...................................575 Three Ways to Show Love........................................716 Discipline with Love...........................................857 Protecting Your Teenager.......................................1018 Mind vs. Media.................................................1119 Beyond the Birds and the Bees..................................12910 Teaching Values...............................................14711 Anxiety, Depression, and Other Challenges.....................16512 Gifts to the Future...........................................189Five Ways to Get the Most from This Book.........................199Study Guide......................................................201Notes............................................................215 Chapter One a stranger in the house One more long day is over. You crawl under the bed covers to claim a few hours of rest-one of life's pleasant little rewards. Today you've earned it. As you click off the lights, your thoughts settle into the comfort of darkness and wander sleepily through the current events of your life. The pace is manageable just now. Bills are paid; plans are progressing; kids are healthy. Still, a spark of anxiety flickers in the back of your mind. It prevents your calm descent into slumber. That's the parental intuition light, blinking to tell you there is unfinished business somewhere in your family life. Best to ignore it. Think too much about those things and you won't sleep-and that would be unfair to the full day tomorrow. But you do know what it's all about, don't you? It's something in the air-audible, actually. The faint sound of music creeps down the hall and through your bedroom door. The melody is muffled by earphones, almost unnoticeable. But the rattle of hip-hop percussion is audible in the midnight stillness. That would be your teenager. When does he ever sleep, other than at wake-up time in the morning? Aw, well-so much for your own slumber. Now these thoughts can't be blotted out. You sit up and sigh. Teenager . That word alone evokes so many different feelings and questions. You turn the lights back on and allow your thoughts to come forward and speak. The first thought asks, Where did the time go? It almost seems as if you went to the hospital one day, brought home your newborn, filled the photo album with pictures of your "new" family-and already your child was moving rapidly through grade school. Life accelerated in fast-forward mode. His infanthood, toddlerhood, and early childhood slipped from your loving arms far too quickly, one after the other, though you enjoyed each new age and stage. The funny thing about it is that in adult time, only a short season has passed. (For the sake of this illustration, we'll consider your child a male this time.) You look, think, and feel mostly the same way you did a decade and a half ago. That same brief period has represented a lifetime for your child. It was exciting when he learned to walk. You were thrilled when conversation became possible. Starting kindergarten was a wonderful day. But isn't there some way to pause and enjoy things a bit before he rushes off to college, marriage, parenting, supplying your grandchildren? That was