Central Avenue Publishing is proud to publish another book by the widely acclaimed poet Iain S. Thomas. As many have noted on various social media platforms, there have been some issues that have led to the delayed release of this book. For this, we apologise and hopefully the content of the book will clarify the circumstances surrounding this delay. We feel we should also point out that this is not technically a self-help book, but it does contain some poignant prose, poetry and stories which may or may not lead you to happiness. Mostly, it is the rather unfortunate chronicle of a man's attempt to write the book he’s promised his publisher, no matter the cost to his sanity. Iain S. Thomas is a new media artist and author. As an author, his most famous work is I Wrote This For You , which he writes under the pseudonym pleasefindthis - a blog then book that’s been on poetry bestseller lists since its launch in 2011. His other books include I Am Incomplete Without You, 300 Things I Hope, Intentional Dissonance, How To Be Happy: Not A Self-Help Book and more. He regularly writes for The Huffington Post on poetry, creativity and life and currently lives in Cape Town, South Africa. How to be Happy Not a Self-Help Book. Seriously By Iain S. Thomas Central Avenue Marketing Ltd. Copyright © 2015 Iain S. Thomas All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-77168-031-8 Contents How To Be Happy!, The Story Of An Insane Museum Curator And His Polar Bear, How To Be Happy., Darling, I'm Drunk, Amanda, The Moon And Me, Wedding Poem, Shoulder, Shoulder, Slow, Slow, Everything Else Is Disposable, While You Sleep, This Machine, Love, Audi, Sacred Grammar #I: Î, Sacred Grammar #2: Ó, Sacred Grammar #3: *, Sacred Grammar #4: Σ, Sacred Grammar #5: [??, SACRED GRAMMAR #6: [congruent to], How To Be Happy ..., The Kid That Caused Unhappiness, How To Be Happy., Gator In A Bar, Rat In A Mess, Starfish In A Jar, How To Be Happy…, 215 Kilograms Of Fresh Cut Flowers That Never Stop Falling, Dad,, Dad,, Dad,, Dad,, Dad,, Mari-ka-na, Stare Straight Ahead, A Burning Whiteness, How To Be Happy?, Dear Professor X,, A Giant Mirror In The Desert, We Will Never Leave Earth, How To Be., The Book Of The Internet, CHAPTER 1 How To Be Happy! Firstly, understand that you should be happy and if you're unhappy for a long time, that's not natural. The majority of the human race isn't always unhappy and just pretending to make it by. I mean, sure, everyone's struggling and we are all "fighting a great battle," as someone smarter than me once said, but we're supposed to be happy. Secondly, drink more water. There's a very good chance, or at least I read in a study somewhere, that if you're depressed it could be because you're dehydrated, so the solution could be as simple as that. If you want to go and get a glass of water right now before you carry on reading, you can do that. Thirdly, you probably need to exercise. If you don't exercise, you don't have energy and energy is what lets you do stuff which makes you happy. Besides, it's hard to be happy if you feel unhealthy. If you smoke, it's hard to always have that voice at the back of your head going, "You should quit smoking, you should quit smoking, you should quit smoking … come on," because then you end up spending all your mental energy on that instead of devoting it to doing stuff that makes you happy. There's only so much space in your head, leave some of it open for being happy. Note: I have brought up either "to do stuff" or "doing stuff" to make you happy because "stuff" itself can't make you happy, only "doing stuff" will make you happy. Don't sit on the couch while someone vacuums around you, feeling horrible about the fact that you can't move because you're too depressed. Don't feel likee a ghost, like the memory of someone who used to look like you but now doesn't know exactly who they are. Get up. Don't feel like a feather, drifting out of control on someone else's breath. Although if you think of yourself as a feather or believe that feeling like a feather could be a good thing, then that's cool, go with that. Maybe go skydiving? There is no pressure to become who "you" are at a specific point in your life, you are who "you" are, you do not become "you" one day in the future, you are always you, with everything you do. Do not sacrifice the person you are today for the person you could be tomorrow. There's only ever now. You should still save money because otherwise you'll be poor one day and that very rarely makes anyone happy. Unless the person in question, being you in this case, was someone with too much money, who neglected the people around them who loved them, and then only found out what love is after they'd lost everything. Which is the plot for a whole bunch of movies. And maybe movies and stories are nearly always clichés but we still relate to them because we like to believe our life is a story. Because all st