After thirty-five years of psychiatric practice and working with thousands of patients, Dr. Dennis C. Westin has observed that widespread concern persists about poor self-esteem, a very significant contributor to many problems in life. How we think, feel, and see ourselves determines how we behave and deal with what life puts in our paths. We were not born with the self-esteem we have now. We all learned to think in response to our environment-for better or worse. Impressions of Self provides a framework for building self-esteem. Dr. Weston has searched for a common root for life's problems-tried to identify a beginning point, or at least a major element of a problem that can make the most difference if changed. That one thing is self-esteem-our impressions of self. We can feel better, enjoy life more, and experience more inner peace if we have solid, positive feelings about ourselves. Impressions of Self affirms that there is not only hope, but also the ability within each of us to develop and maintain a comfortable, invigorating, productive self-esteem that can help keep us on life's road of unexpected twists and turns. IMPRESSIONS OF SELF A FRAMEWORK FOR BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM By Dennis C. Westin Trafford Publishing Copyright © 2011 Dennis C. Westin, M.D. All right reserved. ISBN: 978-1-4269-6830-3 Contents INTRODUCTION....................................................................ixCHAPTER 1 UNDERSTANDING SELF-ESTEEM.............................................1CHAPTER 2 IMPORTANCE OF SELF-ESTEEM.............................................8CHAPTER 3 DEVELOPMENT OF SELF-ESTEEM............................................14CHAPTER 4 BAD HABITS OF SELF-ESTEEM & THE HABIT TRIAD...........................23CHAPTER 5 AWARENESS AS BASIS FOR CHANGE.........................................31CHAPTER 6 BARRIERS TO CHANGE....................................................39CHAPTER 7 THE PROCESS OF CHANGE & THE LEARNING FORMULA..........................52CHAPTER 8 LET'S REVIEW..........................................................65CHAPTER 9 RULE 1: DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN.......................................71CHAPTER 10......................................................................81CHAPTER 11 RULE 5: INVEST YOUR ENERGY WISELY....................................91CHAPTER 12 RULE 6: THE FEELING GOOD EQUATION....................................99CHAPTER 13 RULE 7: ACCEPT "POSITIVES" FROM OUTSIDE YOURSELF.....................109CHAPTER 14 STAYING ON THE ROAD OF LIFE..........................................117CHAPTER 15 PEACE................................................................125APPENDIX A: MOOD DISORDERS......................................................135APPENDIX B: ANXIETY DISORDERS...................................................138ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS................................................................143 Chapter One UNDERSTANDING SELF-ESTEEM Before you can really focus and learn, you need to understand what the focus is. Therefore, I think you should look at how you might define "self-esteem." To me, self-esteem is how you view yourself from all angles—how you think about yourself, feel about yourself, how you see yourself "in your mind's eye"—your total impression of self. If you look in Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, you will see that there can be a problem with defining self-esteem. This is evident in the definition itself, which is as follows: "(1) belief in one's self; self-respect, (2) undue pride in one's self; conceit." Which way do you go with this definition? Unfortunately, some people are taught that thinking about one's self and looking at self is "selfish." Therefore, it is undesirable, even "evil," "bad" and "prideful," as in Webster's second definition. Such thinking stimulates the creation and growth of poor self-esteem and resistance to positive change in self-esteem. If that is your situation, are you comfortable with it? Does this negative definition of self-esteem allow feelings that are positive, loving, caring and enduring? Does such negatively defined self-esteem make it easier for you to interact on the "road of life" and experience joy, fulfillment, and inner peace? I think you need to ask yourself if it is really "bad" to pay attention to self—to take positive care of self—to nurture self. Unfortunately, you will get nowhere with positive change of self-esteem unless you really, deeply feel it is okay to make changes in yourself. You have to truly accept that it is okay to change in order to overcome the resistance, or barriers, blocking change in self—esteem. Thus, for change to occur, you need to explore your thoughts and feelings in the "permission" area to see if it is okay for you to have positive impressions of self. This is a very important point . Such "permission" or lack of "permission" often is hidden in the shadow of your thoughts and subtly influences what your min