Coaching is a space between two or more people. It’s Not About the Coach is about inspiring coachees to make informed choices about coaching, discover their readiness for learning and develop the values required for success. In doing so coachees can achieve accelerated results in business, sport and life situations. , Stuart Haden is a coach, facilitator and consultant, and has particular expertise in developing authentic team, leadership and coaching cultures. His approach is grounded in harnessing personal energy, developing our personal narratives and the nature of who we are being. He lives in London, UK. , It's Not About The Coach Getting the most from coaching in business, sport and life By Stuart Haden John Hunt Publishing Ltd. Copyright © 2012 Stuart Haden All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-78099-642-4 Contents Part 1 - what's it all about?..............................................1Part 2 - mapping the landscape.............................................11Part 3 - possibilities.....................................................22Chapter 1 - authenticity...................................................24Chapter 2 - change.........................................................39Chapter 3 - emotions.......................................................52Part 4 - perception........................................................65Chapter 4 - curiosity......................................................67Chapter 5 - challenge......................................................79Chapter 6 - questions......................................................94Part 5 - performance.......................................................108Chapter 7 - goals..........................................................110Chapter 8 - systems........................................................125Chapter 9 - energy.........................................................145Part 6 - master of two worlds..............................................157Part 7 - afterword.........................................................160References.................................................................162About the author...........................................................164 CHAPTER 1 Authenticity Primary values I was in Primary School aged 10 when I realized that authenticitywas important to me, although I would have never have called itthat then. To me authenticity means recognizing your innervalues and demonstrating them externally. Inside out. Skillfullyof course, otherwise you might be labeled a maverick. I could not wait to get into Mr. Sanders' class, the final one ofmy Primary School apprenticeship. I felt privileged, a feeling thatI would not experience again in academia. Like any good coachhis portfolio was wide ranging. His book club discussion liveswith me today and his surfing guidance brought him into ourfamily circle. Above all he was authentic and appeared to loveteaching. His passion for rugby was infectious, as was his reward fortackling him in training. A Mars bar no less, such luxury for oneso young. He told me that because I had such a low center ofgravity that I would make a great scrum half. I could not believethat someone was taking such an interest in me and that he hadgiven me feedback about something so specific and personal.This was my first position of any sort in life, the fact that it waswell thought out made it all the more special. At the schoolboytrials Mr. Sanders was our referee. We were playing at UnderhillPark. A great big basin of sports' pitches surrounded by trees thatwould remind me of the world that Tolkien had created. I willnever forget the advice he gave me when a scrum was awarded.'Have a go yourself,' I could not believe it, he was supposed toremain unbiased yet he had recognized the need to get me intothe game. It did not have a fairytale ending as I didn't make the regionalteam, but I will never forget my first taste of coaching genius.This was the start of my authentic journey, one where I couldcreate outlandish possibilities. His comment would serve melater in life, not necessarily at the back of scrums but in times ofequal mayhem. I remember clearly being in the school assembly hall with Mr.Sanders. He was describing the concept of anachronisms. Beinga skillful coach he asked me to come up with an example. Ireplied, 'it would be like seeing a helicopter in a cave man film.'Not tremendously articulate but it is an example I am happywith 30 or so years later. Looking at the dictionary and you will find 'a thing belongingor appropriate to a period other than that in which it exists,especially a thing that is conspicuously old-fashioned.' So Iwasn't far off all those years ago. More loosely something thatdoesn't feel right. It might be glaringly obvious, or subtlytroubling you. This sense remained with me from that dayforward. If something does not seem right, it keeps gnawingaway at me. Sometimes it can take years