A path of hope and healing for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse A woman who was sexually abused as a child is confronted with manyinternal questions: Am I worthless? Will I get past the pain? Do Imatter to God? These and similar questions can carve a deep hole in analready wounded soul. Too often, the lies of worthlessness are believed, the pain becomes too much to handle, and survivors find themselvesmaking choices that lead to more heartbreak. With over 42 millionsurvivors (both male and female) in the United States alone, the needfor a clear path to healing is great. Crystal Sutherland-herself a survivor of CSA -knows that while the recovery process iscomplex, healing is possible with God's help. For women who want toprogress from simply coping to living abundantly, this book guidesreaders through seven essential steps to recovery found in Scripture.Candid and open about her personal journey of healing, Crystal comesalongside her reader as a friend who understands. Infused with biblicaltruths, stories of hope from other survivors, and practical wisdom, this book leads women to discover the life of wholeness God has for them. Crystal Sutherland's Journey to Heal is an empathetic guidebookfor those suffering the ravages of past sexual abuse. Readers willdiscover a clear pathway through the muck toward wholeness and health in its pages, written by a survivor who understands. --Mary DeMuth, author of Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing After Sexual Abuse This book can help you reject shame and discover God's love and care.Whether you are afraid of dealing with a wound covered up long ago orare afraid of being defined by someone else's traumatic choices, thisbook can be your guide to wholeness. --Michael Prasse, MACC, LPC,counselor specializing in abuse recovery Crystal M. Sutherland is a writer, speaker, ministryleader, and mentor for survivors of sexual abuse. She has fifteen yearsof experience in ministry, including women's ministry, youth ministry,worship, and Bible teaching. She has also written and led a women'sBible study for female survivors of sexual abuse. Her work can also beseen on her active blog (crystalsutherland.org) and in contributions tolifelettercafe.com. Journey to Heal Seven Essential Steps of Recovery for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse By Crystal M. Sutherland Kregel Publications Copyright © 2016 Crystal M. Sutherland All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-0-8254-4401-2 Contents Heartfelt Appreciation, 9, You're Not Alone, 11, Chapter One Step 1: Commit to the Journey, 15, Chapter Two Step 2: Face the Truth, 31, Chapter Three There's No More Disgrace for You, 47, Chapter Four Step 3: Share Your Story, 56, Chapter Five Step 4: Settle the Unsettled, 66, Chapter Six What Is God's Role in Your Story?, 78, Chapter Seven Step 5: Forgive and Let It Go, 93, Chapter Eight Step 6: Discover Your True Identity, 109, Chapter Nine Step 7: Establish Your New Life in Christ, 121, Chapter Ten There Is Hope for Experiencing Intimacy, 140, Continue in Your Journey of Faith, 159, Notes, 161, Appendix A A Prayer for Salvation, 163, Appendix B A Prayer for Sexual Healing, 165, Appendix C The "I Am" Statements of Worth, 167, Appendix D Additional Resources for Recovery, 169, About the Author, 171, CHAPTER 1 STEP 1: Commit to the Journey Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" — Matthew 20:32 My parents were teenagers when I was born. I guess you could say I was a happy accident. They married because of me and divorced when I was about two. There were a lot of issues between them I didn't understand growing up. All I knew was that my mother had custody of me, and my father lived a short plane ride away. He called now and then, sent me gifts, and offered occasional visits, but that would be the extent of his role in my life until my late teens. In my father's absence, my mother was left with the majority of my care. I believe she did the best that she could. She was young and I was unplanned; there were many stressors involved. My mother went through a series of relationships and remarried again when I was about ten years old. She became pregnant with my first sibling and, overall, life seemed to be going pretty well. Her new husband was kind in the beginning — even acted as a father figure for a time. He played games with me and taught me how to shoot hoops and catch a baseball. For the first time in a long while, my mom seemed really happy, and that made me happy too. With her own set of painful childhood memories to process and the stress of single parenthood, my mother sometimes took out her frustrations on me. Her reactions to my childhood blunderings were often violent and loud. As much as I loved my mother, I grew to be afraid of her at an early age. This new man in our lives seemed to bring some balance to both of us. For the first time I can remember, it felt like I had a real family. We played together, too