Ever try to explain something to a person who doesn't understand your language? You can talk louder, but it won't help! The same is true of communicating with someone of a different communication style--we must change our approach if our message is to be understood. Consider this book your dictionary for deciphering such communication gaps as: Why does my project manager give me so much more detail than I need? Why does my uncle take everything so personally? Why does this person buy into my presentation when that one doesn't? Use Jackson and Bosse-Smith's unique assessment tool to identify your communication style--Assertive, Animated, Attentive, or Accurate―and learn signals for identifying others' styles. By understanding your own style and that of your colleagues, clients, family members, and friends, you can tailor your approach and content to communicate your ideas more effectively, improving both your relationships with others and your professional success. Lorraine Boss é -Smith has more than twenty years’ experience in Corporate America. She is President of Concept One, Inc., a corporate training and consulting firm, as well as The Total You, a wellness and fitness center. She is a dynamic speaker, inspiring and engaging audiences nationwide. She is the author of Finally FIT , Fit Over 50 , Leveraging Your Leadership Style, A Healthier, Happier You, and I Want my Life Back!  She lives in Loveland, Colorado. Dr. John Jackson is the Senior Pastor of Carson Valley Christian Center, which he planted in 1998. In one exciting decade, CVC has grown from its core of eight adults to have a God-sized impact on the suburban and rural areas surrounding Minden, Nevada. John has more than twenty-five years of leadership experience in both the non-profit and profit sectors, and serves as the Executive Director of Thriving Church Ministries (www.thrivingchurches.com). His books include Leveraging Your Leadership Style , Leveraging Your Communication Style , God-Size Your Church , and Pastorpreneur . Leveraging Your Communication Style Enhance Relationships, Build Bridges, & Reduce Conflict By John Jackson Abingdon Press Copyright © 2008 The United Methodist Publishing House All right reserved. ISBN: 978-0-687-64751-4 Chapter One The Fine Art of Communication The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Dorothy Nevill Winston Churchill is one of the best known speakers in our time, and he had a great impact both as a communicator and as a listener. One time, a rather boring speaker of Parliament was rambling on and on, and Churchill was sitting with his eyes closed. The speaker noticed that Churchill's eyes were closed and asked, "Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I am talking?" Churchill's response was, with his eyes still closed, "No, it is purely voluntary." Another time, a female member of Parliament was quite upset with him and said, "Mr. Churchill, you make me so mad; if you were my husband, I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response was "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it." Churchill certainly had a way with words! How we communicate—that is, how we talk, listen, understand, and interact with others on our team—determines the influence we have in our relational world. If Lorraine and I have a consistent belief in our previous book, Leveraging Your Leadership Style , and this book, Leveraging Your Communication Style , it is this: life is about relationships! We think your relationships with God, your spouse, your family, your coworkers, your neighbors, and your friends are the core of life. Communication stands at the center of each of these relationships. This book will help you become a better communicator by equipping you to discover how you can best speak and how you can become a better listener. In the next few pages, you will be introduced to the various aspects of speaking. Then, in the chapters that follow, Lorraine and I will help you (1) discover your own communication style and (2) learn, as both a speaker and a listener, how to interact with others who have different styles of communication. It Is about Give and Take It may surprise you to hear that most of us need much more help learning how to listen than we do learning how to speak. You probably picked up this book looking for some tools and techniques that will help you become a better speaker, but we would be irresponsible not to also help you become a better listener. The Bible tells us this truth in James 1:19-20: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires"(NIV). I can't tell you how many times over the course of my life that I have wished I were slow to speak and quick to listen! So, what is communication all about? At the