On quick observation, the Quaker lifestyle boasts peace, solitude, and simplicity?qualities that are attractive to any believer of any denomination or religion. Yet living a life of faith is not as simple as it may look. In fact, it?s often characterized more by the stumbles than the grace.?When someone asks me what kind of Christian I am,? says Quaker author J. Brent Bill, ?I say I?m a bad one. I?ve got the belief part down pretty well, I think. It?s in the practice of my belief in everyday life where I often miss the mark.? In Life Lessons from a Bad Quaker, a self-professed non-expert on faith invites readers on a joyful exploration of the faith journey?perfection not required. With whimsy, humor, and wisdom, Bill shows readers how to put faith into practice to achieve a life that is soulfully still yet active, simple yet satisfying, peaceful yet strong. A light-hearted faith guide for anyone who is bad at being good. J. Brent Bill is a Quaker minister, photographer, retreat leader, and author. He holds an MA in Quaker Studies from Earlham School of Religion (a Quaker seminary) and has been a recorded (ordained to non-Quakers) Friends minister for thirty years. He has also served as pastor in Friends meetings (churches) large and small, rural and urban. After more than eleven years as executive vice president of the Indianapolis Center for Congregations, Bill is the associate secretary for communications, publications, and outreach for Friends General Conference. Bill resides on Ploughshaes Farm outside Mooresville, Indiana. Life Lessons from a Bad Quaker A Humble Stumble Toward Simplicity and Grace By J. Brent Bill Abingdon Press Copyright © 2016 J. Brent Bill All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-63088-131-3 Contents Introduction, 1. Just Be Quiet: Stillness for Those Too Busy to Sit Still, 2. World at War: Forget the Middle East — How Do I Get Along with My Family, Coworkers, and Annoying Neighbors?, 3. To Buy or Not to Buy: Living Simply When I'd Really Like a New Mercedes — Or Even a Honda!, 4. Red and Yellow, Black and White, They Are Precious in His Sight — Um, Perhaps My Vision Needs Checking, 5. Truth Be Told: Integrity in an Often Duplicitous World, 6. God's Good Green Earth: The Call to Care for Creation, 7. Walking Cheerfully: A Little Levity Never Hurt Anybody (Well, Except for That One Guy), 8. Closing Deep Thoughts ... And a Word on Fashion, Appendix 1: Humble Stumble Hymnbook: Spiritual Songs for Imperfect Saints, Appendix 2: The Good, the Bad, and the Quakers, Appendix 3: Wanna Learn More?, Appendix 4: Some Good Advices: Friendly Food for Faith and Thought, Appendix 5: How to Talk Quaker: A Handy Guide to Quakerese, Acknowledgments, Notes, About Brent, CHAPTER 1 Just Be Quiet Stillness for Those Too Busy to Sit Still There is a quiet, open place in the depths of the mind, to which we can go many times in the day and lift up our soul in praise, thankfulness and conscious unity. With practise his God-ward turn of the mind becomes an almost constant direction, underlying all our other activities. — Kenneth Boulding Words may help and silence may help, but the one thing needful is that the heart should turn to its Maker as the needle turns to the pole. For this we must be still. — Caroline Stephen Listen carefully to what I am about to tell you. — Jesus "Shut up," he explained. — Ring Lardner I'm not good at being quiet. There. Got that out of the way. People assume that, since I'm a lifelong Quaker, I must have some genetic bent for staying silent — silence being a hallmark of Friends worship and witness, after all. In fact, since I'm confessing to my badness, I may as well admit that when I first started writing this chapter, I opened a blank document — and iTunes. Stumble! I live in the land of sound. I like it. When I built my house, I wired it for music and movie dialogue. When I bought my latest car, it came with AM, FM, satellite radio, a CD player, and a woman who reminds me when it's time to get my oil changed. No, not my wife, Nancy, but some other woman who lives in my dashboard and tells me what to do. And who is always right. Hmmm, maybe she is some relation to Nancy! When I climb on my John Deere to mow between the rows of trees we planted to reforest the lower field and filter chemical runoff from farms around us, I put on ear protectors to keep out the droning diesel. Underneath the ear protectors, though, I usually slip a set of earbuds. I could go on, but you get the idea. In fact, you may live the idea. My life with sound might mirror yours. I like my tunes, NPR talk radio, television shows. I also like bird song, urban noise, conversations, overheard conversations (bad!), and more. I fill my life with a fury of sound that signifies something: I just don't know how to be still. Well, actually, I do. I just avoid it. Even though I know better. Now I'm not talking about the kind of quiet that my