From one of radio's loudest, orneriest, most beloved, and highest-rated sports radio personalities, a bold and hilarious memoir of sports, manhood, and what it is to be a fan. In 1991, fresh from college, Craig Carton drove a crappy 1980 Buick to Buffalo, New York, to interview for a job at WGR radio. The station manager who hired him was the first to recognize his considerable on-air talent, and helped start what has become a legendary radio career. Often compared to Howard Stern, Carton has hosted a series of highly rated shows, and in 2007 he joined WFAN, where he and Boomer Esiason host an eponymous show every morning for four hours out of a studio in New York City. In this debut book, Carton invites the reader to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio’s craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone. "After working with Craigy for six years, I have seen all 50 shades of him. It is my job to not only keep him in line on the air, but to also keep us from killing each other. And it is one of the best jobs I have ever had. So now, I welcome you to the 50 Shades of Craig Carton." -- Boomer Esiason ― The Boomer and Carton Show “I listen to this guy every morning. Why I want more of him and in book form… I don’t know. But I do. Hilarious.” -- Jon Stewart ― The Daily Show "Craig Carton is funny, insightful, tough and a great family man and friend. You are going to love him even more after you read this book!" -- Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey “[Carton] is a veritable and imposing encyclopedia of sports arcana.” -- Hunter Atkins ― Men's Journal "In the same loud, irreverent style of his radio show, Carton broadcasts the story of his life in sports and radio through a series of vignettes on topics ranging from his father's intolerance and authoritarian manner to the night he lost his virginity, his encounters with hookers, and his ascent to radio stardom through various stints in Buffalo, N.Y.; Cleveland, Ohio; and Philadelphia." ― Publishers Weekly It’s been said that someone in Craig’s business needs to have “POKE” – meaning they must have “Personality, Opinion, Knowledge and provide Entertainment.” Well, Carton’s got all that – and then some...a very funny read – full of juicy stories and view-points." ― WasWatching.com "Loudmouth delves deep into what drives a 'fucked up kid' like Craig Carton to eventually strive to be number one in radio....CC let's it all hang out... [ Loudmouth ] surely will be a bestseller." -- Bob'sBlitz.com Craig Carton is the former cohost of the Boomer and Carton radio show on Sports Radio 660 WFAN and the former host of "MMA Uncensored Live" on Spike. He has hosted shows at WGR Radio in Buffalo, WWWE in Cleveland, 610-WIP in Philadelphia, KKFN and KBPI in Denver, New Jersey 101.5 in New Jersey, and WNEW in New York City. Loudmouth I’m all alone in the back of an SUV. It’s 35 degrees outside, where there are several thousand people all chanting my name, all wanting to see the clown who for the second year in a row is about to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge in little more than a Speedo and a football jersey. How did I get myself into this position again, and why in the world does it make me so happy? It’s 10:40 in the morning, and a radio station employee charged with protecting me cracks open the door and asks if I am ready to go. Actually, “ready to do this” are his words. Not yet. I take off my sweatpants, revealing my green New York Jets Speedo. Suddenly I have an attack of ego. How’s it look? I wonder. I’m not thinking about my legs; I am worried about whether or not my junk looks okay. “Craigie, Craigie, Craigie!” The people are restless and cold, too. They want to start the walk. The crowd includes marching bands, mascots, strippers, and thousands of die-hard Jets fans pumped to celebrate their team making it into the AFC Championship game. Holy shit, it’s only been eighteen months since I started hosting the Boomer & Carton show on WFAN, and now there are thousands of people waiting for me to appear like I’m Phil, the groundhog. Thankfully I find a pair of ankle socks in my bag and decide to stuff my Speedos with them. It looks so ridiculous, you might think I have hemorrhoids, but I don’t care. So I leave them in there; better this way than reality on this cold day. I take a few more deep breaths and catch my reflection in the rearview mirror. I freeze. Only one thought, and it’s clear. This is fucking awesome!!! I swing the door open wide and let the circus begin. The crowd is everything I had hoped it would be. Brooklyn’s Cadman Plaza overflows with all sorts of people: young kids, old men and women, even some people in their Speedos to support me and the Jets—probably more