Musings on Grief & More When we lose a spouse either by divorce or passing to the next realm, by far it is the most excruciating event in one's life. On the death of a loved one which the author has experienced when he lost his wife Mary, the pain is even more because the grief process often becomes unbearable at the outset. But there is silver lining. The shared memories are intact that we can go on to remember the love. In so doing we discover that grief is neither pain nor suffering. It is love’s flipside but only disguising as sadness. As we live and grow with it, we learn that grief becomes our new normal. Thus, we embrace it and cherish all the more the love and memories of our loved one.