MONSTER & THE DAUGHTER WHO LOVED HER: a true story by Linda Ford Ayres This book is about being raised by a cunning, mentally ill mother and a father in denial, and my road from hate and distrust to understanding, sympathy, love, and ultimately unexpected forgiveness. Written with voices alternating between my own voice and my mother's voice, her mental illness becomes more fascinating than terrifying and mystifying. Strangely, I was her confidant. I had access to her thoughts, plans, deeds, and disturbed reasoning behind what usually would be seen from a moral point of view only as evil. My story begins with my first memory...my mother stomping my turtle with her foot until she killed it. My mother's voice begins with her belief that she died in childbirth which resulted in her trip to heaven and back, the Virgin Mary having given me to her to raise on earth. I brought my mother the only joy she had ever known until I went to school where her sadism worsened and escalated to her attempt at murdering me in my sleep at age eighteen as I was about to graduate from nursing school. Leaving Ray, the boy I had fallen in love with, I escaped to San Francisco and studied creative writing, supporting myself as a nurse. I "dropped" acid, ending my faith in the only solace I had left, the Virgin Mary. Falsely accused of killing a patient, my depression deepened, landing me in a locked-down psychiatric ward and released to psychotherapy. "I wanted to save lives like Dr. Bauer had saved mine." I returned to graduate school and became a successful psychotherapist in New York City for many years. I married, adopted my son, and divorced when he was three. I eventually did marry Ray, the boy I deserted forty-nine years before, who had retired as a Marine three-star general. In the end, my mother and I made our peace. "Just like love, and maybe even because of it, forgiveness mysteriously just happened." Linda Ford Ayres has written a unique memoir, one that braids the complicated mother-daughter relationship from both points of view. With the insight of a psychotherapist, the talent of a writer, and the heart of a spiritual person, she weaves a memoir that is horrifying, haunting and yet humorous. Katherine Olivetti, M.A., M.S.S.W. Jungian Analyst Author of The Guided Dream Journal As a therapist, Linda Ford Ayres helped me enormously. I knew nothing about her life, other than that she was wise and gifted at working with people in the creative fields. I recently reached out. Oh, she'd written a memoir? Yes. I wanted to read it... Damn! I had no idea of the insanity of her upbringing! In this harrowing tale, told in alternating chapters between herself and her mother, we experience Linda's survival of her mother's evil and of her father's neglect. This chilling story is told without hyperbole. A fascinating read. Janet Pierson, Director Emeritus/SXSW Film and TV Recovery from abuse is a painful and complicated journey. Linda Ford Ayres' courageous life narrative might help you or a loved one find your path to safety and well-being. For anyone lost in that sea of dark waters this personal testament could be a beacon of light on the road to recovery. Sandra Haber, Ph.D., Psychologist Fellow and Former President, Division of Independent Practice, American Psychological Association Linda Ford Ayres holds degrees in Nursing, Creative Writing, and Social Work. She is the co-author of "Godless Grace: How Nonbelievers are Making the World Safer, Richer and Kinder", under her former name Linda Ford Blaikie, L.C.S.W., published by Humanist Press, 2015. "The East Hampton Star's" Memoir section selected a short piece of hers entitled "Red Satin Comfort" for publication in 2018. In addition, one of her case histories was recently included in an important psychological journal."Monster & The Daughter Who Lover Her: a true story", began as a staged reading entitled "Crazy, Beauty, Truth", performed at The Laurie Beechman Theater in Manhattan. Lynn Cohen was the actor who player her mother. Elizabeth Canavan played Linda. Retired from her private psychotherapy practice in midtown Manhattan, she is pursuing her life-long passion for storytelling. She is certain that if we share our stories with others it will make the world a less lonely place to live in.Linda welcomes your feedback at LindaFordAyres@gmail.com.