On the day he was celebrating the first day of his honeymoon, "Michael McCarthy" was erased - every aspect of self-identity, gone in an instant. This book is an autobiographical narrative describing in detail one man's journey through the mind-shattering loss of the person we take for granted we are. The subsequent search for "reality" leads through every available spiritual path, from religions to consciousness raising disciplines of every culture. The author's search for "The Holy Why?" leads through the darkest depths of human suffering. It is a journey through the inner realms to the awakening process of the Soul. A clearly delineated and often poetic description of the equally bizarre worlds of experiential spirituality, and quantum physics. All of it interwoven with recent scientific breakthroughs in brain chemistry research that eventually lead to a true spiritual awakening - a return to conscious living. It has been called "...a lucid and comforting delineation of the things most people are still afraid to talk about." It is both entertaining and enlightening. A psychological and spiritual quest that goes far beyond simple belief. It fulfills the great promise of recent neuroscience research - both hemispheres of the brain get their "Ah, ha!" moment. Heartbreaking, mind-blowing, and often funny, it is a clearly delineated journal of experiential spirituality! What do you do when you have done everything "right," and the most absolutely "wrong" thing possible befalls you? Where can you go when you no longer have any concept of what "Right" or "Wrong" might actually be? What is it you should even seek in order to make sense of the senseless? In the nightmare of an idyllic life gone mad, where does one go? And how do we get there from here? An internationally honored spiritual visionary and artist, Nanette Crist, described her experience with the first chapters, thus: "I cried in his confusion and pain. And then laughed as he challenged - demanded! - that God reveal Himself. And then, I saw God." Born on Christmas Eve, I was raised in a Roman Catholic home and community. After eight years of Catholic School, I chose to attend a public High School in my hometown of Wilkes-Barre, Pa. There, unfortunately, I became "a chronic truant with a high IQ". Thanks to the nuns, I was academically well ahead of my new classmates and quickly became bored. I would sneak out and spend some part of every day in the cathedral-like Osterhout Free Library, where I "majored" in Parapsychology. In the Air Force from 1960 to 1964, as an Air Police School graduate, Class 20040, I was widowed on the very day of my discharge. My life in a waking nightmare lasted nearly a decade. Ultimately, I would be introduced to the Edgar Cayce work at their Library - "The Association for Research and Enlightenment" in Virginia Beach. There, I was exposed to the works of Swedenborg, Blake, Emerson, Kant, Jung, etc. Every religion and spiritual discipline known to man was in that library! I eventually focused on the use of sound and music in healing. In time, I would become the assistant of Paul Solomon and conductor of his readings. Paul was the return of the apostle Paul, as foretold in the Cayce "work readings", and he was instructed to peruse what had come through Cayce before him, just as Edgar had done with the Bible. Paul's work expands the Cayce material in that breakthroughs in quantum physics, brain chemistry, and the very nature of consciousness have in our time exponentially expanded our own understanding of just what it means to be here on Earth. From Paul I learned a technique for the spiritual awakening of humanity, called "The Inner Light Consciousness Course". It is normally taught as a two-week "guided experience in spiritual evolution." "ILC", is the very practical application of disciplines and techniques leading to the awakening of our own spiritual nature, that is the natural outgrowth of all truly spiritual studies. Everyone can, and indeed should, access that same inner fount of knowledge and wisdom - and one does not have to lose consciousness in a full-trance state to do it, as did Edgar, Paul and other 'prophets' throughout human history. As a long time practitioner of spiritual growth and healing, I use consciously created music as the most powerful tool for mankind's awakening. It is what I now seek to share with the world today. It is my goal to be the person I was begging God to send when my honeymoon descended into a nightmare, while I was awake. Used Book in Good Condition