What does it take to raise great kids? If you've read any books on parenting, conflicting opinions have probably left you feeling confused. Get tough! Show acceptance. Lay down the rules. Lighten up, already! There's got to be a balance--and there is. Joining their expertise with the wisdom of MOPS International (Mothers of Preschoolers), Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you provide both the care and acceptance that make grace real to your child, and the firmness and discipline that give direction. Avoiding the twin extremes of permissiveness and over-control, Drs. Cloud and Townsend show how you can help your child cultivate six necessary character traits: attachment, responsibility, reality, competence, morality, and worship/spiritual life. At last, here is an effective middle ground for raising up children who will handle life with maturity and wisdom. Raising Great Kids will help you equip your son or daughter to accept life's responsibilities, grow from its challenges, and freely and fully explore all that it has to offer. What does it take to raise great kids? If you've read any books on parenting, conflicting opinions have probably left you feeling confused. Get tough! Show acceptance. Lay down the rules. Lighten up, already! - There's got to be a balance -- and there is. Joining their expertise with the wisdom of MOPS International (Mothers of Preschoolers), Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you provide both the care and acceptance that make grace real to your child, and the firmness and discipline that give direction. Avoiding the twin extremes of permissiveness and over-control, Drs. Cloud and Townsend show how you can help your child cultivate six necessary character traits: attachment, responsibility, reality, competence, morality, and worship/spiritual life. - At last, here is an effective middle ground for raising up children who will handle life with maturity and wisdom. Raising Great Kids will help you equip your son or daughter to accept life's responsibilities, grow from its challenges, and freely and fully explore all that it has to offer. Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, pastor to pastors, and New York Times bestselling author. His 45 books, including the iconic Boundaries , have sold over 20 million copies worldwide. Throughout his storied career as a clinician, he started treatment centers, created breakthrough new models rooted in research, and has been a leading voice on issues of mental health and leadership on a global scale. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy. Dr. John Townsend is a nationally known leadership consultant, psychologist, and author, selling over 10 million books, including the New York Times bestselling Boundaries series. John founded the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling and the Townsend Leadership Program . Dr. Townsend travels extensively for corporate consulting, speaking events, and to help develop leaders, their teams, and their families. John and his family live in Southern California and Texas. Visit DrTownsend.com . Raising Great KidsCopyright 1999 by Henry Cloud and John TownsendThis title is also available as a Zondervan audio product.Visit www.zondervan.com/audiopages for more information.Requests for information should be addressed to:Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataCloud, Henry.Raising great kids: parenting with grace and truth / Henry Cloud and JohnTownsend.p. cm.Includes bibliographical references and index.ISBN-10: 0-310-23549-9ISBN-13: 978-0-310-23549-11. Parenting---Religious aspect---Christianity. I. Townsend, John Sims, 1952--II. Title.BV4529.C54 1999248.8'45---dc2198-51434This edition printed on acid-free paper.All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: NewInternational Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International BibleSociety. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievalsystem, or transmitted in any form or by any means---electronic, mechanical, photocopy,recording, or any other---except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without theprior permission of the publisher.Published in association with Yates and Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors,Orange, CA.Interior design by Sherri L. HoffmanPrinted in the United States of America06 07 08 09 10 11 12 * 34 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19------------ One ------------The Goal of ParentingA Child with CharacterMy friend Tony had asked me (Dr. Townsend) to dinner to talkabout a family problem. After we caught up on what was newin our lives since we had last seen each other, he began talkingabout his recent struggles with his fourteen-year-old daughter,Halley. She was skipping school, drinking, and hanging aroundwith a bad crowd. Tony and his wife, Denise, were worki