Small time petty thief Ernest Dean has spent a lifetime making bad decisions. One bad decision on one fateful night changes everything. As he tries to rob a mousy little guy, he encounters a homeless man who leads him on a bizarre twisting journey with a petite pretty redhead taxi driver, a large garden gnome, a giant butcher and a sexy Phlebotomist-who are all Vampires As they join forces with a tattooed Filipina, a Snowy white, and scruffy ginger werewolves to handle a situation with a vicious Cursed Blood vampire, a human girlfriend and a carrot topped teen with a band of freckles across her nose who is in a perpetual bad mood. Making things worse: The FBI arrives and an old iconic movie actor gets pulled into it… and it all happens because of a broken twig.