With hilarious insights, observations, and personal anecdotes on everything from partying all night, to learning to do laundry, to falling asleep in class, Aaron Karo has captured the college experience like never before. It took college freshman Aaron Karo only one week to realize that college was a joke -- an especially funny one that he could share with his friends in a regular email newsletter about life on campus. By his senior year, Ruminations on College Life had become an international phenomenon. Now, for the first time in print, here is the best of the original ezine, previously unpublished material, and brand new introductions to each section by the author. Share in the absurdity and insanity of the college experience with Karo as you read his outrageous inside account of scheming students, crazy professors, confused parents, and rowdy frat boys. Perfect for anyone who is destined for college, currently surviving it, or already a veteran, this book is a cult classic readers can enjoy alone or read out loud at their next party for tons of laughs. Taken from Karo's popular Web site, aaronkaro.com, Ruminations perfectly captures the college experience of a fun-loving student. Born out of e-mails University of Pennsylvania student Karo would send his friends about his collegiate escapades, the book details dorm life, how to navigate classes, and fraternities, among other aspects of college. Most of Karo's stories involve alcohol, and at one point he comments, "Hey, I've seen more ceilings than floors today!" He's dead-on when he writes about the many different types of people one encounters at college, from the types who carry gigantic backpacks to the ones who can't go anywhere alone. He doesn't take classes seriously, but somehow he ends up giving his class's commencement speech. It's easy to see why Karo's clever e-mails to his friends were widely circulated and eventually spawned his Web site. Though Karo takes partying to the extreme, and some of his comments about women are downright obnoxious, there's no denying that Karo presents an often-accurate and funny picture of college life. Kristine Huntley Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved CollegeHumor.com Karo gets an A+ for this hilarious debut. Ruminations on College Life should be required reading for everyone! Aaron Karo is an author, comedian, and screenwriter. His books include Lexapros and Cons , I’m Having More Fun Than You , Ruminations on Twentysomething Life , and Ruminations on College Life . He was born and raised in New York, currently lives in Los Angeles, and always pays on the first date. Find him online at AaronKaro.com and follow him on Twitter @AaronKaro. Chapter One: Freshman Year Your freshman year of college is supposed to be a new beginning. You emerge from the summer following your graduation from high school pretty much hating your hometown and everyone in it. You look forward to college as a chance to start fresh, to make new friends and begin a new phase in your life. Then you get to college and immediately start hanging out with everyone who goes there from your high school, and you're constantly instant-messaging and emailing your friends from home. That's because freshman year isn't a whole new phase of your life; it's really just another place to participate in underage drinking and trying to get laid. As a freshman, you're the lowest of the low. You don't know anybody, you can't find anything, and no one seems to want to explain anything to you. But everyone knows what it's like to be a freshman, so you have to use it to your advantage: "Excuse me, young man, why are you twenty minutes late for class?" Your response: "I'm sorry, I'm a freshman and I got lost." "Yo, dude, you just threw up all over my girlfriend!" Your response: "I'm sorry, I'm a freshman and I'm wasted." And they'll understand. In the end, being a college freshman is like being a fetus. You're helpless, you still rely on your mom for pretty much everything, and you have no clue what the hell is going on. By the end of the year, you're wasted off your rocker, still completely clueless, and passed out on your dorm-room floor in the fetal position. * THE FIRST WEEK of college feels kind of like camp. You've got enough clothes to last you a few weeks, you're sleeping in a little bed, and you write letters to your parents and friends. After two months I was like, "OK, this has been fun, but the summer is over now, time to go home." The RA was in the hallway stopping dazed kids from leaving. They were all packed up saying, "Wait, you mean this isn't camp? But it feels just like camp! What? Four more years?" WHEN I FIRST got to college, I was still kind of in that high school "gotta get involved" mode. You know, like when you used to join clubs just so you could put it on your college application. Anyway, for some reason I decided to run for freshman class president. Of course, I got trounced by some k