In an updated and expanded edition of a timeless classic, bestselling author Jerry Apps has written and collected oft-spoken phrases, observations, comments, and conundrums celebrating country life and rural living. Black and white photographs by Steve Apps, an award-winning photojournalist, complement the text that offers humorous, touching, and unique glimpses into the lighter side of life in the Midwest. Jerry Apps writes novels and nonfiction about the outdoors, country life, and rural living. He received the 2008 First Place Nature Writing Award from the Midwest Independent Publishers Association and the 2007 Major Achievement Award from the Council for Wisconsin Writers. He and his wife live in Madison, Wisconsin. Steve Apps is an award-winning photojournalist with twenty-five years in the newspaper industry. As a Wisconsin State Journal staff photographer he has covered a wide range of assignments, including the Green Bay Packers and the University of Wisconsin–Madison sports. Steve Apps is an award-winning photojournalist with twenty-five years in the newspaper industry. As aWisconsin State Journalstaff photographer he has covered a wide range of assignments, including the Green Bay Packers and the University of Wisconsin–Madison sports. Rural Wit and Wisdom Time-Honored Values from the Heartland By Jerry Apps, Steve Apps Fulcrum Publishing Copyright © 2012 Jerry Apps All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-55591-601-5 Contents 1. Acknowledgments, 2. Introduction, 3. Farming, 4. Community, 5. Work, 6. When Chores Were Done, 7. Family, 8. For Good Health, 9. Home-Grown Food, 10. Little Things, 11. Practical Matters, 12. Taking Life as It Comes, 13. Conundrums and Other Wise Bits, 14. Country Phrases, 15. Lifetime Learning, 16. Learning from Everyday Things, 17. Getting Along, 18. Seasonal Changes, 19. One with Nature, 20. Place, 21. Remembering, 22. Storytelling, 23. Afterword, CHAPTER 1 Farming Farmers are the heart and soul of this country. In the settlement years of the heartland, more people worked as farmers than any other occupation. As the years passed, farmers began leaving the land; now, less than 2 percent of the American workforce farms. The values and beliefs held by farmers who settled the region, and the children and grandchildren who followed them on the land, forged the basic foundation for today's heartland people. Some modern-day folks claim farmers and farm life are historic relics, replaced by high-tech, modern-day agriculturists who farm thousands of acres, milk thousands of cows, fatten thousands of beef cattle in feedlots, and raise thousands of hogs and poultry in confined operations. Those who say this are likely not aware of the much smaller farming operations, many of them organic, that are rapidly growing in number in this country and in many ways resembling the family farmers who worked the soil during pioneer days. Family farmers are a special people. Famed Tuskegee educator Booker T. Washington wrote in 1895, "No race can prosper till it learns there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem." That advice still holds. Here is a sprinkling of farm wisdom: • A farmer recently won the lottery. When asked what he was going to do with the money, he replied, "I'll keep farming until the money runs out." • Anyone can farm, but not everyone is a farmer. • In the business of farming, it's not so important who gets there first as who gets there at all. • An old horse, an old dog, and an old farmer have much in common: they are slow but wise. • If you must sing, do it when you're after the cows. Cows don't care if you can't carry a tune. • Look down when walking in a cow pasture. • Attention to detail makes all the difference, whether it's plowing a field, building a fence, or teaching a calf to drink out of a pail. • When cultivating corn with a tractor, keep one eye on the corn row, one eye on the cultivator, one eye looking out for stones, and one eye on the fence at the end of the field. • Bigger is not better when it comes to farm size. Ability to care for the land ought be a guide, not whether a person can negotiate a loan to buy more. • Books do not begin to contain what is necessary to become a successful farmer. • Farmers, more than anyone else, know the meaning of hope and patience — waiting months for a crop with the hope that it will amount to something. • Farmers produce food and fiber, not products. Products come from factories. Food and fiber come from the land. • Farmers seldom have good years, only some years less bad than others. • Farming is like playing five-card poker with four cards. • Happiness for a farmer is a barn roof that doesn't leak, a pasture fence that isn't broken, and a daylong rain in May. • Farming is more than making a living; it is about living and the connection of people to the land. • Few occupations blend art and science as well as farming — adding a little religion also help