Gary Smalley is one of the world's foremost speakers and experts on love and relationships. His gift for helping couples create more meaningful communication and deeper understanding so that they can establish an unwavering bond is the inspiration behind Secrets to Lasting Love, the culmination of Smalley's decades of work. In it he outlines the three essential skills that move couples to the highest levels of intimacy: Respect your spouse for all of his or her individual qualities and differences from you. - Communicate with each other in a way that moves conversations into deeper realms of understanding. - Renew and recharge your spouse emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually -- constantly. It is not easy to recognize and then apply these skills. But Secrets to Lasting Love shows everyone how to do just that, so they can reach what Smalley calls the fifth, or ultimate, level of intimacy -- where there's a marital bond strong enough to withstand the inevitable highs and lows of life. With Gary Smalley, you will have the tools to create a heightened sense of commitment that will allow you to reach your spouse's heart and spirit. Bill Bates Dallas Cowboys All-Pro Safety A winning marriage is possible for every husband-wife team. Gary's the best relational coach around! Charlie "Tremendous" Jones motivational speaker and author Gary has a wonderful gift of sharing his failure, successes, and knowledge. His material will start many new fires and rekindle some old ones. Connie Sellecca and John Tesh No matter how many books you've read or how many tapes you've seen, if you haven't heard Gary Smalley speak, you have no idea what you have been missing. Dr. Scott Stanley and Dr. Howard Markman coauthors of "Fighting for Your Marriage" With wit and wisdom, Gary Smalley gives you practical advice for how to stay in the race, jump the hurdles, and cross the finish line in victory, together! John Gray author of the bestselling "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" If you want a lasting love relationship, I highly recommend Gary Smalley's guide to forever love. Kathie Lee Gifford As usual, Gary Smalley gets right to the root of the problem and offers real advice on how to change the quality of your life and your relationships. Frank and I are honored to call him our friend. Steve Largent member of the NFL Hall of Fame and U.S. Representative from Oklahoma In a world that's constantly changing, how does one find and keep "forever love"? Gary Smalley shares key forever -- love principles in practical must-read marriage material. Gary Smalley is one of the country's best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He is the coauthor of sixteen bestselling, award-winning books, which have collectively sold nearly 6 million copies. He lives with his wife in Branson, Missouri. Chapter One: Deeper: The Direction Toward the Ultimate Relationship Every fully realized relationship is a trip from surface emotions down into the depths, descending through five distinct levels of intimate communication that move from the shallow levels to the fifth and deepest level. At this fifth level, a couple feels absolutely safe and accepted for what they feel and need as unique individuals. Throughout this book I am going to show you how to accelerate your journey through these levels, arriving at the deepest level in the shortest, most effective amount of time. For now, let's discuss the five levels, so you'll understand what your journey is going to entail. These five levels of intimate communication were first introduced in John Powell's book, Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? But later, Dr. Gary Oliver, head of the Center for Marriage and Family at John Brown University, helped me understand that my entire life's work could be grouped within these five levels. All couples will move in and out of one or more of these five levels of intimate communication every day. This book will help you understand the five levels of intimate communication and how to use three powerful relationship skills to move in and out of all five levels anytime you wish. These levels are the outline of this book. Now I realize just how powerful they are: The Five Levels of Intimate Communication 1. Speaking in clichés 2. Sharing facts 3. Sharing opinions 4. Sharing feelings 5. Sharing needs The first two levels are natural, easy, almost effortless. I've discovered that a majority of couples, sadly, can remain in these levels throughout their relationship. When you embark on a journey toward intimacy, in a sense you are "diving into" your relationship. Perhaps you and your mate have spent years climbing through the mountains, the ups and downs of your relationship. But now you've reached an awesome sight: the ocean. You don't want to remain stranded on the shore or stay stuck at the surface. You want to dive in deeply, to leave the shallow waters of superficiality and delve into, and revel in, the depths of intimacy