The first substantial collection of short fiction from "a writer with enough electricity to light up the country" (Ann Patchett) "I guess the things that scare you are the things that are almost normal," observes one narrator in this collection of effervescent and often uncanny stories. Drawing on fifteen years of work, See You in Paradise is the fullest expression yet of J. Robert Lennon's distinctive and brilliantly comic take on the pathos and surreality at the heart of American life. In Lennon's America, a portal to another universe can be discovered with surprising nonchalance in a suburban backyard, adoption almost reaches the level of blood sport, and old pals return from the dead to steal your girlfriend. Sexual dysfunction, suicide, tragic accidents, and career stagnation all create surprising opportunities for unexpected grace in this full-hearted and mischievous depiction of those days (weeks, months, years) we all have when things just don't go quite right. “Unconventional yet emotionally resonant stories. . . . Much like his contemporaries Kevin Wilson or Wells Tower, Lennon is one of those writers who defies categorization and is as likely to fit comfortably into Weird Tales as he is into Granta.” ― Kirkus Reviews “[Lennon] leads us through his own magic portal into weird, slightly-aslant worlds brewed and steeped in the hot coils of his brain.” ― The Quivering Pen “J. Robert Lennon finds the uncanny hidden in the every day. His dark, subservise stories are both hilarious and unnerving. See You in Paradise is smart, inventive and full of the fascinating particularities of various wayward humans.” ― Dana Spiotta “These are wonderful, fearsome stories, and I read each with a growing sense of unease and delight. J. Robert Lennon is a master of the dark arts.” ― Kelly Link “To say that J. Robert Lennon writes speculative fiction is like suggesting that Tom Waits is known primarily for a couple of toned-down love songs. Dark, dazzling and reeling with a constant undertow of dangerous unpredictability, See You in Paradise is a brilliant return to the short story by one of the great masters of eerie domestic dystopia. In Lennon's world, anything can happen--and does.” ― Téa Obreht J. Robert Lennon is the author of seven novels, including Familiar , Castle , and Mailman , and a story collection, Pieces for the Left Hand . His fiction has appeared in T he Paris Review , Granta , Harper's Magazine , Playboy , and The New Yorker . He lives in Ithaca, New York, where he teaches writing at Cornell University. See You in Paradise Stories By J. Robert Lennon GRAYWOLF PRESS Copyright © 2014 J. Robert Lennon All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-55597-693-4 Contents Portal, 3, No Life, 15, See You in Paradise, 35, Hibachi, 55, Zombie Dan, 73, A Stormy Evening at the Buck Snort Restaurant, 95, The Wraith, 107, The Accursed Items, 127, Weber's Head, 139, Ecstasy, 159, Total Humiliation in 1987, 169, Flight, 189, The Future Journal, 205, Farewell, Bounder, 219, CHAPTER 1 Portal It's been a few years since we last used the magic portal in our back garden, and it has fallen into disrepair. To be perfectly honest, when we bought this place, we had no idea what kind of work would be involved, and tasks like keeping the garden weeded, repairing the fence, maintaining the portal, etc., quickly fell to the bottom of the priority list while we got busy dealing with the roof and the floor joists. I guess there are probably people with full- time jobs out there who can keep an old house in great shape without breaking their backs, but if there are, I've never met them. My point is, we've developed kind of a blind spot about that whole back acre. The kids are older now and don't spend so much time wandering around in the woods and the clearing the way they used to used to—Luann is all about the boys these days, and you can't get Chester's mind away from the Xbox for more than five minutes—and Gretchen and I hardly ever even look in that direction. I think one time last summer we got a little drunk and sneaked out there to have sex under the crabapple tree, but weeds and stones kept poking up through the blanket and the bugs were eating us alive, so we gave up, came back inside and did it in the bed like normal people. I know, too much information, right? Anyway, it was the kids who discovered the portal back when we first moved in. They were into all that magic stuff at the time— Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings , that kind of thing—and while Gretchen and I steamed off old wallpaper and sanded the floorboards inside the house, they had this whole crazy fantasy world invented back there, complete with various kingdoms, wizards, evil forces, orcs, trolls, and what have you. They made paths, buried treasures, drew maps, and basically had a grand old time. We didn't even have to send them to summer camp, they were so ... tolerable. They didn't fight, didn't co