This story (loosely based on some actual events) takes you on a ride with Indigo Jacobs through her vacillating journey in search of love. Indigo struggles with love of family, men, God, and herself. So, hold on. This ride could get a little rough! Table of Contents Preface .........................................................................vii Prologue ........................................................................1 Free at Last ...................................................................3 Atlanta's Alpha Male.....................................................15 Mr. Cafeteria .................................................................55 The Curly Haired Lover.................................................93 Return of the Chef and the Spartan Pimp .....................159 One Night Stand ............................................................231 The French Connection .................................................283 Epilogue .........................................................................349 Acknowledgements ........................................................365 "Free at Last" ...Besides, I had decided that I would NOT be a virgin for no man who could not offer me the same! So I made a mental note that I would definitely 'get rid of this virginity' simply out of spite. Not long after our purity lecture, I'd approached my so-called boyfriend, Julian Hargrove, with the 'I'm ready speech'. Of course the snake that he was at the time, I got no argument from him. He was supposed to be my boyfriend but I could barely talk to him on the phone and I definitely couldn't go out with him anywhere. The one time he did try to come visit me, he was met at the front door by my two brothers, Marvin and Malcolm, who had inadvertently removed their shirts just prior to opening the door in order to instill the greatest fear they could into my suitor. He was bringing me a Valentine's Day heart shaped locket. Unfortunately, because of their bare-breasted appearance and my mom's decree that he could only step into the fortress for a short moment, the visit was rather brief, awkward, and very embarrassing. After he was sent away I attempted to protest but was immediately silenced by the Queen better known as "The Iron Lady" that I had better be glad that she'd allowed him on the premises and allowed me to keep the gift as well. Soon after I'd given him the green light on taking my innocence, he met me in the hallway with his plan of action to escape to the bordello of love. "Meet me out front at the South door after fourth hour." He'd said with his lips pressed in my ear. "Where are we going?" I asked out of both curiosity and caution. I might have been a virgin but I was far from gullible and the tomboy in me had my guards up. "We going to my cousin's house down the street." He stated like he had it all together and the room was reserved. However, the first thought in my head was who else is gonna be there cause ain't nobody gang bangin' me! "Who's at the house?" I asked cautiously. "Nobody's there. He gave me the key. Everything's cool, don't worry about it. We'll be back by sixth hour. I know you gotta catch the bus home." He reassured me mostly because he didn't want me to back out of the deal. What he didn't know was that this was mostly about defiance and not so much because I had the hots for him. In reality, he was just as much a victim as I was. "Ok", I said trying to seem at ease. At the end of fourth hour I walked out the door as bold as ever and he was already there waiting for me. He was standing underneath this big tree looking all cool, which was easy for him to do being that he was tall and muscular with sleepy Garfield eyes and usually high from smoking the sticky of the icky. I walked up to him and tried not to act nervous. Oh but I WAS nervous cause I didn't know what to expect and mostly because I just knew my mother would pop out of nowhere like Bewitched and I would be doomed for life! We started walking down the street headed for his cousin's house. I was hoping that it wasn't far cause if I'd seen my mom I would have to do a nosedive under the nearest bush. After a few minutes I followed him up the walkway to a two story Victorian style home that needed some obvious TLC. I was quiet most of the way so when we got there he asked, "You alright?" I responded in my calmest voice, "Yea, I'm cool." When we got in the house, no one was there as promised; no one but him, me and God Almighty whom I knew was watching me and shaking his head with disappointment. We went upstairs and I looked the room over. It was neat but the furniture was old and it smelled more like his grandmother's house than his cousin's. I sat on the bed and just looked because I didn't know what else to do. He sat down next to me, "So you never did it before, huh?" "Nope," I said, not really looking at him. I didn't feel anything emotionally for him like I'd expected to the way it seem