A USA Today BESTSELLER! "Informative. Complete. And practical. This book will guide family caregivers through the surprisingly complex world of senior care." ― MEHMET OZ, M.D. , New York Times bestselling coauthor of YOU: The Owner's Manual: The Complete All-in-One Care Guide Choosing the best care for your aging parents and other seniors in your life is not only complex, with multiple options available, it's also highly personal and often emotional. This essential resource―written by the founders of Home Instead Senior Care, the world's largest provider of nonmedical care for seniors―guides you through a comprehensive range of things to consider, step by step, so you can make better informed decisions and be confident that the senior in your life is receiving the best care possible. Checklists and diagnostics will help you: Decide if at-home care is the right choice for you and your loved ones - Evaluate the pros and cons of retirement communities, adult care centers, nonmedical caregivers, assisted living facilities, nursing homes, and hospice - Determine the costs of senior care options and find helpful support networks "This is not just another book about caring for aging parents. It's a great reference you'll use again and again. Stages doesn't shy away from the hard questions. Rather, it shows you how to confront them."―SUZANNE MINTZ, President/CEO, National Family Caregivers Association "Recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, this salient volume compassionately addresses a full range of hard-to-discuss subjects."-- PUBLISHERS WEEKLY All of the authors' profits from the sale of this book will be donated to the Home Instead Senior Care Foundation. Paul and Lori Hogan founded Home Instead Senior Care in 1994. Now with 850 offices in 15 countries, Home Instead is recognized as a global leader and authority on senior care. Visit them at www.stagesofseniorcare.com. Paul and Lori Hogan co-founded Home Instead Senior Care in 1994. The Home Instead Senior Care franchise network has grown from one franchise in Omaha to more than 800 worldwide. The company is the global leader in non-medical, in-home care for seniors. The Hogans have won awards for their franchise business model. Paul and Lori Hogan co-founded Home Instead Senior Care in 1994.The Home Instead Senior Care franchise network has grown from one franchise in Omaha to more than 800 worldwide. The company is the global leader in non-medical, in-home care for seniors. The Hogans have won awards for their franchise business model. STAGES of SENIOR CARE Your Step-by-Step Guide to Making the Best Decisions By PAUL HOGAN LORI HOGAN The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Copyright © 2010 Paul Hogan and Lori Hogan All right reserved. ISBN: 978-0-07-162109-0 Contents Chapter One A Whole New World The realization comes unexpectedly and suddenly; or it's a gradual awakening that can no longer be ignored. Yesterday you were your mother's daughter, or your father's daughter, as you have been all your life, through all of life's passages—but the passages were always yours. You were the one who was a disruptive three-year-old, compliant ten-year-old, rebellious adolescent, overconfident college student, confused novice in the workplace, cocky associate director, nervous newlywed, and then a sometimes-overwhelmed parent of your own three-year-old. Through it all, your mother never changed. She was the rock, home base. Your tumultuous spinning from stage to stage may have exasperated her from time to time, but she rarely showed it. She was the fixed point in your small universe, the one you could always rely on to get you out of that impossible jam, that catastrophic situation, or so it seemed at the time. That Was Yesterday Today is very different. This morning you drove to your mother's house for a routine visit and found her sitting in her car in the driveway, making no effort to move the car or get out. When you asked her to roll down the window, she did, and she recognized you. But she had no idea where she was or where she was going. The episode confirms a truth you had been trying to hide from—your mother's growing detachment from the world around her. On your last several visits, her home has been in disarray, extraordinary neglect on the part of a woman who had been a diligent housekeeper to the point of obsession all your life. Or perhaps the realization that your parents are no longer your protectors but now your dependents comes with your father's spinal injury. He was always Mr. Fix-It—electrician, carpenter, plumber, roofer all in one. Not only did he take care of your parents' home, he was the one you called when your furnace collapsed in midwinter, your own husband far less adept with tools. Now your father is likely to be a semi-invalid for the rest of his life, confined to a wheelchair much of the time. Who Takes Responsibility? The world is now turned upside down. You have suddenly