Outskirts Press calls itself "the fastest-growing full-service publishing provider." It published seven books in 2002, its first year, and over 5,000 books in 2009. Some of those books, and the press releases that promote them, are filled with silly errors that should have been avoided. When authors are disappointed and enraged., service reps hide behind the fine print of a contract that does not warrant that books will be error-free. Outskirts is also inept (and dishonest) when it promotes itself. Its website, emails, press releases, blogs and promotional literature have factual errors, mistakes in grammar, spelling and arithmetic- and deliberate distortion. Outskirts uses such grandiose phrases as "a veritable army of publishing professionals" to attract customers - but those professionals tell lies to make independent self-publishing seem much harder than it really is. Although Outskirts uses such buzzwords as "self-publishing" and "print-on-demand," it's really a vanity publisher. Vanity publishers make most of their money by selling services and overpriced trinkets to naïve authors - not by selling books to readers. The books are often ugly, unedited and overpriced. They sell poorly, and are seldom reviewed. This book was written to make potential customers of Outskirts Press and other vanity publishers aware of the trouble that likely awaits them, and to let vanity publishers know that their lies and failures will be noticed and publicized. It's also a very funny book. Michael N. Marcus  has been a journalist, author, editor, pub­lisher, publicist, advertising copywriter, photog­raph­er, band manager, amateur attorney, golf ball diver, re­cording engineer, and is founder of Able­Comm, Inc. ("The Telecom Department Store").      His writing career started when he published a newspaper in elementary school. Since then he has been an editor at Rolling Stone and has written for many other magazines and newspapers.      Michael has written over 20 books and provided the words for over 50 websites and blogs. He specializes in mak­ing technology un­der­standable, and often humorous.      His first book was published by Doubleday in 1976. His second book was published by a tiny company 20 years later. He didn't like the books or his earnings. In 2008 he formed Silver Silver Sands Books to publish one book. He kept publishing.      His Stories I'd Tell My children (but maybe not until they're adults) was intended for friends and family, but has sold thousands of copies worldwide.      Born in New York in 1946, Michael's a proud member of the first cohort of the Baby Boom.      At the urging of a misguided guidance counselor, Michael went to Lehigh University to become an electrical engineer and was quickly disappointed to learn that engineering was mostly math -- and slide rules were not nearly as much fun as sol­dering irons.      Michael was one of the few literate people in his engineer-filled freshman dorm and made money editing term papers for classmates. Later, his college apartment had an elaborate and illegal phone system, a phone booth with a toilet in it, and an invisible phone activated by handclaps.      Michael lives in Connecticut with his wife Marilyn, Hunter the golden retriever, and a lot of stuff -- including indoor and outdoor telephone booths, a 'Lily Tomlin' switch­board, lots of books, CDs and DVDs, and many black boxes with flashing lights. Marilyn is tolerant.