In Tell Me So I Can Hear You , Eleanor Drago-Severson and Jessica Blum-DeStefano show how education leaders can learn to deliver feedback in a way that strengthens relationships as well as performance and builds the capacity for growth. Drawing on constructive-developmental theory, the authors describe four stages of adult growth and development and explain how to differentiate feedback for colleagues with different “ways of knowing,” which include: • Instrumental knowers, who tend to see things in black and white (“Did I do it right or wrong?”) and may need to develop the capacity for reflection. • Socializing knowers, who are concerned with maintaining relationships (“What do you want me to do?”) and may need support developing their own ideas. • Self-authoring knowers, who have strong ideologies and values (“How does this fit with my goals and vision?”) and may need help with perspective taking. • Self-transformative knowers, who are able to examine issues from multiple points of view (“How can I understand this more deeply?”) and may need guidance in resolving tensions and contradictions. The authors show how leaders can provide feedback in ways that “meet people where they are” while expanding the developmental capacities educators bring to their work. Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano provide real-life examples with practical strategies for creating a safe space for feedback, finding the right words, and bridging feedback and action. Tell Me So I Can Hear You offers invaluable guidance to help educators support a culture of learning in classrooms, schools, and districts. "This book is a must-read for anyone who provides feedback in their work, especially those charged with helping teachers improve their practice. Striking a perfect balance between theory and practice, this book provides both the why and the how of offering feedback for growth." — Susan K. Brondyk ,  Teachers College Record In Tell Me So I Can Hear You , Eleanor Drago-Severson and Jessica Blum-DeStefano show how education leaders can learn to deliver feedback in a way that strengthens relationships as well as performance and builds the capacity for growth. The authors provide real-life examples with practical strategies for creating a safe space for feedback, finding the right words, and bridging feedback and action. Tell Me So I Can Hear You offers invaluable guidance to help educators support a culture of learning in classrooms, schools, and districts. “ Tell Me So I Can Year You comes to the field at just the right time, when educators at every level are recognizing the importance of ensuring that feedback contributes to continuous learning for adults. The authors offer actionable insights to help educators engage in meaningful feedback conversations that lead to growth and change.” —Stephanie Hirsh , executive director, Learning Forward “In a perfect marriage of theory and practice, Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano introduce a whole new dimension for thinking about feedback that is both intellectually stimulating and immediately applicable.” —Robert Kegan , Meehan Professor of Adult Learning, Harvard Graduate School of Education, and coauthor, Immunity to Change and An Everyone Culture “Articulate and meaningful, Tell Me So I Can Hear You draws deeply from the research on feedback and thoughtfully integrates it with theories of adult development. The book offers a clear blueprint, as well as tools and examples of how we can move to broader and deeper growth-enhancing feedback for those we coach, evaluate, and mentor.” —Elizabeth Neale , chief executive officer and founder, School Leaders Network Eleanor Drago-Severson is Professor of Education Leadership and Adult Learning & Leadership at Teachers College, Columbia University. Jessica Blum-DeStefano teaches at Bank Street College of Education. Eleanor Drago-Severson is Professor of Education Leadership and Adult Learning & Leadership at Teachers College, Columbia University. A developmental psychologist, Ellie teaches, conducts research, and consults to school and district leaders, teacher leaders, and organizations on professional and personal growth and learning; leadership that supports principal, teacher, school, and leadership development; and coaching and mentoring in K–12 schools, university settings, and other adult education contexts. She is also an internationally certified developmental coach who works with leaders to build internal capacity and achieve goals. Her work is inspired by the idea that schools must be places where adults and children can grow, and she is dedicated to creating the conditions to achieve this and to helping leaders and educators of all kinds to do the same on behalf of supporting adults and youth. At Teachers College, Ellie is director of the PhD Program in Education Leadership, teaches aspiring and practicing principals in Columbia University’s Summer Principal Academy and aspiring superintendents in t