This is a remarkably timely and fascinating personal story of a young man who became a priest and then discovered he was gay. He slowly comes to the realization that the flesh and the spirit need not be at war with each other, and he ultimately decides to leave the priesthood. "You will laugh, you will possibly cry, and you will undoubtedly come to learn from the struggle both without and within. This book is quite well-written and addicting from page one. I could not put it down." --Jason Ruel, Gay/Lesbian Editor, Bella Online "A rare and fascinating look into the soul of a man desperately searching for his happiness in others and the church before finally turning to himself." --Tony McEwing, Fox News " That Undeniable Longing is very personal...hard to put down." -- White Crane Journal This is a remarkably timely and fascinating personal story of a young man who became a priest and then discovered he was gay. He slowly came to the realization that the flesh and the spirit need not be at war and that in order for him to be a complete person he would have to leave the priesthood. This gripping memoir begins when the author leaves his home in California at the age of nineteen to enter a seminary on the outskirts of Rome. The seminary has a resident “saint” who is later discovered to be far more human than spiritual. The author struggled with his commitment by suppressing his emotional needs and thought about changing his career path. But eventually he continued as he had begun and attended the North American College, the Vatican’s premier American seminary. An engrossing true story of one man’s struggle with his emotions and the Church, Tedesco ultimately finds a redemptive peace and happiness. His journey touches on such matters as the search for meaning, spirituality versus humanity, faith in God and being gay. Now that the Vatican has banned gays from the priesthood, this story takes on new relevance. See Mark's story on CNN's "Life After" series. cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2020/06/19/life-after-coming-out-priest-mark-tedesco-orig-mss.cnn.html Mark Tedesco is a writer and educator residing in California. Having lived in Italy for eight years, he enjoys weaving stories connecting the present to the past and exploring how deep human longings are expressed in relationships, events, culture and history.  Mark has written in the genres of travel, historical fiction, memoir, self-help and childrens' fiction. His titles include: That Undeniable Longing, I am John I am Paul, Lessons and Beliefs, The Dog on the Acropolis and Loving Hoping Believing. Mark's Dixi Books title, She Seduced Me: A Love Affair with Rome, brings to life Mark's love for the magic of a city, in which he weaves history, personal stories and interviews into a tale that, little by little, also seduces the reader. Besides writing, Mark is an educator and he loves to engage his students in his love of history, literature and of each person's unique story.  In his off time, Mark likes to travel but, somehow, he always ends up returning to Rome where, he is convinced, other stories are waiting to be uncovered. That Undeniable Longing My Road to and from the Priesthood By Mark Tedesco Chicago Review Press Incorporated Copyright © 2006 Mark Tedesco All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-0-89733-599-7 Contents 1 What Lies Beyond, 2 Signs Along the Path, 3 Pandora's Box, 4 Longing Becomes Unhappiness, 5 One Journey Ends, 6 Doors, 7 Caught in the Storm, 8 Coming to Life, 9 Pandora Returns, 10 Holding On, 11 Boredom and Longing, 12 The Door Opens, 13 The Path Unfolds, CHAPTER 1 What Lies Beyond * * * As I lay awake at night flooded with thoughts of the past, I wonder if this is what happens in middle age: memories become as important as the present, and in old age they become even more important. How did I arrive at this point? Could I ever have imagined, long ago on a winter day in Rome, that I would find myself on this new path, my dreams not shattered, but transformed. And that elusive, relentless desire, for happiness — where is it leading me? I ask myself this as day breaks and begins to illuminate the clouds below my window. Why is the question: "Am I happy?" so puzzling? Happy compared with what? Sad compared with what? The questions turn into dreams and dancing images as I drift into sleep. * * * "Our descent has begun into Rome," the loudspeaker blasts. "We're almost there!" Mike cries excitedly; "I can't wait to see the city again: the Forum, the museums, the Vatican! I would like to go out to Tivoli this time to see Hadrian's Villa. I was there years ago. And I remember an odd-looking modern church across the freeway; someone told me it's worth seeing. It's in a place called San Vittorino. Have you been out there?" "San Vittorino." What strange feelings that name evokes. "Yes," I reply, "years ago. Sure, we can do that." As we disembarked and went through customs and looked for a ride into t