In his first book for adults, the New York Times bestselling author sparks honest dialogues between men and women, in the tradition of Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man . Only 34 percent of African-American children today are raised in two- parent households, a sharp contrast to 1966, when 85 percent of black children were raised by two parents. In provocative but heartfelt words, Hill Harper takes on these urgent challenges, bringing a variety of issues out of the shadows. In The Conversation , Harper speaks to women and men with clear-eyed perspective, covering topics such as: • The roots of the breakdown in the black family • The myth that there are no mature, single, black male professionals • What women can do to alleviate the "heaviness" they sometimes attach to dating • What men can do to break the cycle of being a player • The difference between sex and intimacy • Bridging the communication gap • Self-worth and net worth, and why you should never settle for an unworthy partner Capturing the conversations Harper and his friends frequently have, this book is destined to be one of Harper's most healing contributions. "Hill Harper trades solving crimes on-screen for a new mission: fixing relationship drama." - Essence "Hill's work presents a light, insightful, and accessible user's manual for African American men and women to better understand that which keeps us apart (and hopefully what can bring us closer together)." -Wearerespectablenegroes.blogspot.com Hill Harper has appeared in numerous prime- time television shows and feature films, including Dr. Sheldon Hawkes in  CSI: NY,  Agent Spelman Boyle in  Limitless , and Dr. Marcus Andrews in  The Good Doctor . He graduated magna cum laude from Brown University with a B.A. and cum laude from Harvard Law School. He also holds a master’s degree in public administration from the Kennedy School of Government. He was recently named one of  People  magazine’s Sexiest Men Alive. A member of the Democratic Party, Harper is running for the U.S. Senate in the 2024 election in Michigan. 7. The Language of Men I’m glad I understand that while language is a gift,listening is a responsibility. Nikki Giovanni, world-renowned poet, writer, commentator, activist, and educator,and a mother since 1969 A lot of the women I’ve talked to ask me what’s the bestway to effectively communicate with a man. How can awoman know what a man is really thinking if she can’t get himto talk? It’s almost a cliché to say that men and women communicatedifferently, but it does seem to be true. We’re simply different.“It’s like my boyfriend speaks a completely different languagethan I do,” my friend Gail once said. “That’s because he’s talking in the language of men,” myother friend, Mary, replied. The three of us were having lunch.“If you didn’t grow up with it,” Mary continued, “it may as wellbe gibberish.” She explained that she hadn’t grown up with anymen in her house, and so she’d never really learned to understandthe language of men—the sports talk, the sparse replies, the suddenand deep silences. She acknowledged that she had, on manyoccasions, interpreted her ex-boyfriend’s silences as emotionalcruelty. “I honestly thought he was just being mean, giving methe silent treatment. I’d ask him how he felt and he’d just give mea blank stare and shrug. It drove me crazy.” Both women then turned and stared at me as if I couldmagically reveal the tools to properly decode this language thatmen speak—if and when they speak at all. Unfortunately, all Icould share were my observations. Linguistics scholar Deborah Tannen considers male-femaleconversation a form of cross-cultural communication. The innatedifferences in how men and women think, act, listen, and thereforecommunicate are so profound that it is as if we are productsof completely different cultures. These communication differenceshave been seen as early as the age of three. I started this book by explaining how I believe that Blackmen and Black women don’t really even talk to each other anymore.I grew up watching my grandparents sit and talk. Theytalked about everything—from the weather, to the news, to theneighbors, to the grandchildren, to their plans, and then back tothe weather again. Watching those older couples at the Blakes’home reminded me of the flow and ease of my grandparents’conversations. I loved how the men joked with one another andwith the women. I loved how the women were an integral part ofthe exchange, either adding something affirmative to their husbands’statements or putting forth an alternative view, not justtalking among themselves. I wondered why it seemed so special to see men and womengathered together and talking. Then I remembered a panel thatI’d been a speaker on the previous year. It was an all-male relationshippanel at the Essence Music Festival in New Orleans. Iwas intrigued (and, to be honest, scared) to be a part of it becauseI wasn’t sure what was going to hap