LIFE IS RAW. SO IS THE LANGUAGE IN THIS BOOK What is the Dave Test? When life is at its tattered edges and you are faced with seemingly impossible decisions, the Dave Test is a set of searingly honest questions you ask to become the best, most honest self for you, your friends, and your family. Instead of resorting to stained-glass language or offering false hope, do yourself a favor and pick up this book. Take the Dave Test. Did you show up to work yesterday just to be greeted with a layoff notice? What do you say when your friend miscarries? Or when your brother is diagnosed with a wildly incurable cancer? Hard-hitting issues such as these aren't necessarily part of God's perfect plan or blessings in disguise. When life tosses you hard problems with only painful options, take the Dave Test. It will empower you to take life head-on with blunt wisdom, soul-searching honesty, and utter integrity. "We've all been both victims and perpetrators of it--the hurtful bit of spiritual sunshine that is foisted upon a suffering soul. In The Dave Test, Fred Schmidt shows us a better way to be: honest, empathetic, vulnerable, earnest, earthy, substantial, and refreshingly uncertain. It is a beautiful vision for a helpful life." --Mike Stavlund, author of A Force of Will "In this book find Fred Schmidt’s singular ability to translate chronicles of loss and pain into a sanctioned call for honesty about faith as it is lived and as it is allowed to mature in us." --Phyllis Tickle, author "The Dave Test is a true and beautifully written book about that most important of questions: What do we do when everything falls apart for us or those we love?" --Greg Garrett, author of Stories from the Edge: A Theology of Grief and The Other Jesus Frederick W. Schmidt holds the Rueben P. Job Chair in Spiritual Formation and directs the Rueben P. Job Institute for Spiritual Formation at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois. An Episcopal priest, spiritual director, and retreat leader, he is the author of seven books, including When Suffering Persists and What God Wants for Your Life. He also writes and blogs at Patheos.com. Fred and his wife, Natalie, live in Chicago with their Gordon Setter, Hilda. Frederick W. Schmidt holds the Rueben P. Job Chair in Spiritual Formation and directs the Rueben P. Job Institute for Spiritual Formation at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois. An Episcopal priest, spiritual director, and retreat leader he is the author of seven books, including When Suffering Persists (2001) and What God Wants for Your Life (2005). Fred and his wife, Natalie, live in Chicago with their Gordon Setter, Hilda. THE DAVE TEST A RAW LOOK AT REAL FAITH IN HARD TIMES By FREDERICK W. SCHMIDT Abingdon Press Copyright © 2013 Frederick W. Schmidt All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-4267-5593-4 Contents Foreword...................................................................ixIntroduction...............................................................xiiiQuestion One: Can I Say, "Life Sucks"?....................................1Question Two: Can I Give Up My Broken Gods?...............................17Question Three: Can I Avoid Using Stained-Glass Language?.................29Question Four: Can I Admit That Some Things Will Never Get Better?........47Question Five: Can I Give Up Trading in Magic and Superstition?...........63Question Six: Can I Stop Blowing Smoke?...................................73Question Seven: Can I Say Something That Helps?...........................89Question Eight: Can I Grieve with Others?.................................101Question Nine: Can I Walk Wounded?........................................111Question Ten: Can I Be a Friend?..........................................121Postscript.................................................................143A Circle of Friends........................................................149Notes......................................................................151 CHAPTER 1 QUESTION ONE:CAN I SAY, "LIFE SUCKS"? "THAT SUCKS." CAN YOU EVEN GET THOSE WORDSout of your mouth? A lot of us can't. There was a time when Icouldn't. The language isn't the issue, of course. It's the struggle tobe honest about just how hard and ugly life can be. When Dave was diagnosed with brain cancer, he was operatingon 120 patients a month. One of Nashville's go-to guysfor hand surgery, he had just finished a long day of work in theoperating room, and, as he was washing his hands, he experiencedwhat his physicians later described as a "visual seizure." Suddenly, all he could see were images from earlier in theday and the surgeries he had just completed. He couldn't seehis hands, the washbasin, the water, or the soap dispenser. The experience didn't last long that first time, so he didn'tthink much of it. It had been a long day. He was operating on alot of people. The surgeries were visually demanding, req