In The Devil's Guide to Hollywood , bestselling author and legendary bad-boy screenwriter Joe Eszterhas tells everything he knows about the industry, its players and screenwriting itself―from the first blank sheet of paper in the Olivetti to the size of the credit on the one-sheet. "There's just one hunk of funny anecdote after another, quotes from everyone who ever mattered in the movie biz, and the thing is jam-packed with screenwriterly advice. Plus it's hilariously funny, ribald, sexy and brilliant."―Liz Smith Often practical and always entertaining, The Devil's Guide to Hollywood distills everything one of Hollywood's most accomplished screenwriters knows about the business, from writing advice to negotiation tricks, from the wisdom of past players to the feuds of current ones. Eszterhas has selected his personal pantheon of the most loved and loathed players in the business and treats the reader to a treasure trove of stories, quotes and wisdom from those luminaries, who include William Goldman (loathes) and Zsa Zsa Gabor (loves). The Devil's Guide to Hollywood could only have been written by someone who loves the business as much as Eszterhas does―but who also has its number. "Eszterhas delivers a dishy, catty mix of reminiscences and Hollywood trivia…his forte is skewering sycophants and phonies in this opinionated showcase of the underside of Hollywood life."― Publishers Weekly In "The Devil's Guide to Hollywood," bestselling author and legendary bad-boy screenwriter Joe Eszterhas tells everything he knows about the industry, its players, and screenwriting itself--from the first blank sheet of paper in the Olivetti to the size of the credit on the one-sheet. "The Devil's Guide to Hollywood" distills everything one of Hollywood's most accomplished screenwriters knows about the business: from writing advice to negotiation tricks, from the wisdom of past players to the feuds of current ones. Eszterhas dispenses advice as only he can: with his tongue firmly in cheek and a certain finger extended good-naturedly toward the sky. His tips on how to survive in Hollywood are based on his own rugged and real-life experiences: they are not just useful but vastly entertaining. He reveals what he's seen in Hollywood and what he's learned about writing and selling scripts there for record amounts. He also recounts bite-sized takes from personalities he either admires or loathes, sharing the richest, best industry lore that has inspired, amused or enraged him over the years. "The Devil's Guide to Hollywood" is hilarious, ornery, colorful and wise. It could only have been written by someone who loves the business as much as Eszterhas does--but who also has its number. Joe Eszterhas has written fifteen films which have made more than a billion dollars at the box office. Among them are Basic Instinct , Jagged Edge , Flashdance , Showgirls , Betrayed , Music Box and F.I.S.T . He is the author of the New York Times bestsellers American Rhapsody and Hollywood Animal . In 1975, his second book, Charlie Simpson's Apocalypse , was nominated for the National Book Award. He was a senior editor at Rolling Stone from 1971 to 1975. He lives with his wife, Naomi, and their four sons in Bainbridge Township, Ohio. The Devil's Guide to Hollywood The Screenwriter as God! By Joe Eszterhas St. Martin's Press Copyright © 2006 Joe Eszterhas All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-0-312-37384-9 Contents Title Page, Copyright Notice, Dedication, Epigraph, Acknowledgments, Preface, PART ONE: Pursuing Your Dream, PART TWO: Learning the Business, PART THREE: Getting Ready to Write the Script, PART FOUR: Writing the Script, PART FIVE: Selling the Script, PART SIX: Filming the Script, PART SEVEN: Working with the Director, PART EIGHT: Working with the Producer, PART NINE: Dealing with the Studio, PART TEN: Inspiring the Actors, PART ELEVEN: Surviving the Critics, PART TWELVE: The Happy Ending, Epilogue, Index, Praise for Joe Eszterhas's Nonfiction, Copyright, CHAPTER 1 LESSON 1 They Can Snort You Here! Why do you want to be a screenwriter? The answer I get from most young wannabe screenwriters is, "Cuz I want to be rich." I tell them what Madonna says: "Money makes you beautiful." And I tell them that I've made a lot of money but that I'll never be beautiful. Why do you want to write a screenplay? Screenwriter/novelist Raymond Chandler ( The Blue Dahlia ): "Where the money is, so will the jackals gather." You, too, can be a star. My biggest year was 1994. I wrote five scripts in one year. I made almost $10 million. I had houses in Tiburon and Malibu, California, and in Kapalua, Maui. I made half a million dollars for writing a thirty-second television commercial for Chanel No. 5 perfume. I fell in love. I got divorced. I married my second wife. Our first child was born. I had the best tables at Spago and the Ivy and at Granita, Postrio, and Roy's. I had limos in