The deeply personal memoir of Lydia Meredith, a woman who spent almost thirty years married to a preacher—only to have her husband leave her for a man—and how her life becomes a testimony of tolerance and a theology of love and acceptance. After being married to Reverend Dennis A. Meredith for almost thirty years, Lydia Meredith discovers a shocking truth: the love of her life left her for a man. Now, Lydia opens up for the first time about how that revelation shattered her world—and strengthened her faith. With her life turned upside down, Lydia struggled to put the pieces of her broken heart back together and that led her to pursue understanding through an accredited theological education. She wanted a way to put her family back together and she found Jesus’ ministry and teachings were “actually” about teaching tolerance and love for people who are labeled different. Candid, honest, and incredibly touching, Lydia Meredith shows that faith and perseverance can get you through any challenge life throws your way. Lydia Meredith is the founder of Beacon of Hope, Inc.—Renaissance Learning Center, with a mission to strengthen families and communities and lift poor children and their families out of poverty. Lydia has Master Degrees in Business, Christian Education, and Public Policy from Vanderbilt University, The Interdenominational Theological Center, and Andrew Young School of Policy Studies, respectively. She married and had three sons with Reverend Dennis A. Meredith, who is now an openly gay pastor and leading a congregation of over one-thousand members—predominantly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. She and the pastor divorced in 2008, but remain close friends. The Gay Preacher’s Wife INTRODUCTION There’s a Leak in This Old Building There’s a leak in this old building and my soul . . . has got to move To another building . . . a building not made by man’s hand. —Lashun Pace There is a story that made headlines in 2013 about a Memphis pastor who was arrested for sexual battery on a minor. He had been allegedly sexually abusing a sixteen-year-old member of his church for two years. The teen reported the abuse to adults in the church. Instead of turning the pastor in to the authorities, the parishioners only prayed for the pastor. People were outraged about the church’s reaction, just as they were outraged when members of Bishop Eddie Long’s New Birth Missionary Baptist Church defended him when he was accused of sexual misconduct with underage boys in his church. But this denial has been going on in churches for years. The Catholic Church’s offenses represent the most publicized cases of sexual abuse of minors spanning decades. The Vatican not only turned a blind eye to the pedophilia among its ranks, it also covered up the crimes and protected the perpetrators. This is not a new phenomenon; we just know more about the scandals because of social media and a twenty-four-hour news cycle that demands information. I think it was worse in previous generations, in the era of “children should be seen and not heard.” In the times in which I grew up, there was a push to protect so-called leaders whether they were in the church or the White House. We overlooked their flaws for the “greater good.” I grew up in a church where this was the case. Our pastor was a womanizer. He was a notorious womanizer. But no one ever held him accountable. He had several mistresses. I didn’t need to hear any rumors; I knew about Pastor Johnson firsthand. I used to spend a lot of time at the home of Ms. Halston. She was my godmother and she had three children. I would often go to her house to play. Pastor Johnson came over for a visit in the middle of the day while I was there once. It seemed strange to me that the pastor would be there. And while I didn’t see them doing anything, I could tell by their nonverbal communication and the way they were moving around each other that something was up. The energy between the two was pretty powerful. It was said that Ms. Halston was Pastor Johnson’s daughter and her mother was Pastor Johnson’s mistress. Her children were his grandchildren. (They did look just like him.) Ms. Halston’s mother would sit on the back pew with her family on Sunday morning; and everyone whispered about their affair. I knew Pastor Johnson was a pervert. My sister Tricia (short for Patricia) confessed to me, when we were adults, that Pastor Johnson had tried to have sex with her. She said she told Mother what happened but Mother still insisted that Tricia attend church despite her anguish and emotional duress, repeating the timeless adage, “A family that prays together stays together.” In our household, every human being breathing had to get up and go to church together on Sunday morning. Tricia stopped going to church as soon as she moved out of the house! I always wondered why Tricia stopped going to church. I never imagined that what happened to me had also happened to her. I