Despite enormous changes in patterns of dating and courtship in twenty-first-century America, contemporary understandings of romance and intimacy remain firmly rooted in age-old assumptions of gender difference. These tenacious beliefs now vie with cultural messages of gender equality that stress independence, self-development, and egalitarian practices in public and private life. Through interviews with heterosexual and LGBTQ individuals, Ellen Lamont’s The Mating Game explores how people with diverse sexualities and gender identities date, form romantic relationships, and make decisions about future commitments as they negotiate uncertain terrain fraught with competing messages about gender, sexuality, and intimacy. "Noting that 'the more things change, the more they stay the same,' Lamont finds that traditional gender-role expectations have not changed much; men still ask women out more often and hope for sex sooner than women, and women generally still wait to be asked out and are reticent to have sex 'too soon.' This book provides an interesting take on some presupposed assumptions." ― CHOICE " The Mating Game  is an ambitious project that strategically investigates views held by three distinct groups, each navigating complex social structures and cultural narratives around romantic courtship. Lamont offers a refreshing and strong framework to analyze courtship on an individual, group, and societal level. It is a strong addition to growing scholarship on young adults as well as the possible application of queerness in mainstream cultural reform." ― Men and Masculinities "Lamont’s well-designed empirical project and insightful theoretical analysis advance our conversations about the state of the gender revolution in the 21st century." ― American Journal of Sociology "Lamont’s analysis of these stories reminds us that there are possibilities beyond what society currently offers us. I ultimately came away from this book feeling inspired and empowered to turn such possibilities into reality." ― American Journal of Sociology "Through her incisive analysis of compelling interviews, Ellen Lamont shows how and why contemporary middle-class dating practices unwittingly undermine the efforts of new generations to build egalitarian partnerships. This original account demonstrates just how integral symbolic courtship rituals are to understanding why gender inequality persists and how it can be dismantled. The Mating Game not only breaks new ground in the study of romantic relationships but also adds an important new voice to debates about the nature, extent, and consequences of the gender revolution."&;Kathleen Gerson, author of The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of Gender, Work, and Family "Ellen Lamont paints a sobering portrait of conventional coupling that contrasts with the dazzling display of creativity from the queer folk among us. Make no mistake: The goal of intimate equality is here, if we want it; and it is queer, if we&;ll have it."&;Lisa Wade, author of American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus "This book is a must-read for those trying to understand the new rules for modern romance. It sheds a bright light on how today&;s dating and mating game differs from courtship in the past&;and the surprising ways it remains stubbornly resistant to change."&;Sharon Sassler, coauthor of Cohabitation Nation: Gender, Class, and the Remaking of Relationships   "Most Americans now want egalitarian marriages, but heterosexuals still conduct their dating and courting along gender-stereotyped lines that, as Lamont shows, undermine the collaborative interdependence that now predicts the most satisfying long-term relationships. Whatever your sexual orientation, read this book before your next date."&;Stephanie Coontz, author of  A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s "Through her incisive analysis of compelling interviews, Ellen Lamont shows how and why contemporary middle-class dating practices unwittingly undermine the efforts of new generations to build egalitarian partnerships. This original account demonstrates just how integral symbolic courtship rituals are to understanding why gender inequality persists and how it can be dismantled. The Mating Game not only breaks new ground in the study of romantic relationships but also adds an important new voice to debates about the nature, extent, and consequences of the gender revolution."—Kathleen Gerson, author of The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of Gender, Work, and Family "Ellen Lamont paints a sobering portrait of conventional coupling that contrasts with the dazzling display of creativity from the queer folk among us. Make no mistake: The goal of intimate equality is here, if we want it; and it is queer, if we’ll have it."—Lisa Wade, author of American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus "This book is a must-read for those trying to understand t